The Big One.

My Dearest Tadpole,

Today you turn one year old.

Your birthday party was on Saturday, and I did okay. Mostly because even though it was party day, I still had two more days before you turned one.

But, this morning I opened my eyes to your beautiful smiling face, and as you nursed I thought about how today is the day. You are now one. There will never be another baby in this house; we have moved into the toddler stage.

It's hard to believe that in one year you've gone from this adorable, tiny baby:

To this adorable, little boy:

I think back on this past year and I can't get over how much you have enriched our lives. I remember those early days, right after you were born; how hard it was, how much you cried. I remember sitting up in bed at 2AM, holding you as you screamed, tears running down my face and thinking I can't do this, I'm not cut out for this.

It sounds strange, but now I sort of look back on those days with a sense of pride. You and I got through it, we tried x, y, and z and we got through it together. You made us work hard, and you have us the ability to greatly appreciate the look of joy on a baby's face. Now my heart swells with pride whenever someone comments on how happy you are, all the time.

You're really starting to walk now. You take 5 or 6 steps before deciding that crawling would be faster. You love playing with your sisters, and you still love being in the Ergo when we go out of the house.

You've taught me so much, little one. How to laugh more. To appreciate the little things more often. How to be the best mother I can be.

You are such a joy in our lives, and we love you so much. Thank you for teaching me so many lessons in one year. Thank you for smiling at me every morning. Thank you for giving me so many kisses throughout the day, even though they are slobbery and sometimes boogery. Thank you for making me laugh, and for bringing your sister closer together.

Thank you.

We love you so much, little one. Happy Birthday!

The Big One.

Perfectly Fit

My Dearest Tadpole,

Three days ago you turned 11 months. With the crazy month we've been having, I almost missed it. But when I was dating a check, there it was: the 23rd of April, and seeing it made me gasp and my heart fluttered. Next month you will be one.

I hate that I'm having such a hard time with this. I feel as though I am the epitome of the cliche mother, one that walks around all the time saying "I don't want my baby to get old" or "It goes by so fast." I never had this problem with the girls, but you are my baby boy, my last. And so it's hard.

But at the same time I'm so proud of you, and the little boy you are becoming. You cruise along furniture very fast. On Easter, your first Easter, you took one tentative step towards me. Very soon you'll be walking.

You get so angry because I won't let you crawl everywhere and get into everything. You're also going through a biting-while-nursing phase, which I am not liking at all.

But you are oh so snuggly, and love to give kisses.

I love that you are so snuggly. I love it that you get so happy and excited when I walk in the door, even if I was just getting the mail. I love that you are so in love with your sisters, and they in love with you.

I love how you fit so perfectly, so completely, into our lives and the family. It's as if you always belonged, as if that space was always waiting patiently for you to come into our lives and fill it.

Happy 11 months, little man. We love you so much.

Perfectly Fit

That's 300 Days of Joy

My Dearest Tadpole,

Today you turn ten months old. How quickly this year is flying by!!
Oh so many milestones this month. You got your first two teeth!! You started standing and cruising along furniture!
Your sisters are so patient with you. When you come over to the train table and destroy their carefully constructed town, instead of getting angry they laugh and go with it, calling you "godzilla baby" and pretending to run in fear.

I don't think you realize how much they spoil you.
Sometimes, though, they do need a break. And when those times come and they quietly go upstairs to play, sometimes you don't even notice they aren't there in the room with you. But those times that you do notice - you get so upset!! You stand at the bottom of the stairs and cry for them, try to climb the stairs to get to them. You haven't figured that part out yet.

You get so excited and happy when you see your daddy walking in the door. You are so calm, so relaxed, I still can take you anywhere.

You still love sleeping in our bed.

You still love your "na-nas."

You still will sit and cuddle with me, truly earning your nickname "snuggle bear."

You still make me laugh every day, bring joy to our hearts, and peace to our lives.

We love you, snuggle bear.

That's 300 Days of Joy

Handsome Little Man

Dearest Tadpole,

Nine months old!! Nine months! And in the past month, there have been so many changes!

Like how you seem to think, "Who needs toys when I can play with the dishwasher and tupperware?"
And now you take big boy baths!!!
And eat more big boy food!!

You laugh and play and tumble and laugh some more. You say "Mama" now, and you know what it means. You try to pull yourself up, but only get as far as up on your knees.

Every morning when I wake up I swear you are bigger than the day before.

But...but you still love your na-nas. You still love being held in my arms. You throw your arms around my neck and give the cutest hugs and kisses. When I walk into the room, you quickly crawl over and hold your arms up to me.

So thank you, my dearest Tadpole, thank you so very much for making this transition into toddlerhood easier for me. Sometimes I swear you let me cuddle with you all day just to humor me, to make the fact that my little baby boy is getting older just a little easier.

Three more months and you will be a year. I'm almost just starting to consider planning your birthday.

Almost.

Happy nine months little one. You bring our lives such joy.

Handsome Little Man

My Little Love.

Dear Tadpole,

Shhhhh, let me tell you a secret.

On Sunday, you turned 8 months old. But I didn't say anything.

I guess I thought that if I didn't tell you, we could just pretend it didn't happen. And you could stay my little 7 month old.
But of course, it doesn't work like that.

You're crawling now. Well, you do the butt-scootch. It gets you around.

You're eating solids, and lots of them. More than both your sisters were at 8 months. But you still love to nurse, love that down time when we sit down together and touch base again after all that crawling around.

You have just a small bit of separation anxiety. Or maybe it's just that you love being held so much. You crawl over and wrap your arms around my legs, looking up at me with that look. How could I not pick you up? I swing you up into my arms, and your literally wrap your arms around my neck and hug me. You give kisses, too.

You are by far my snuggly baby.

You have so much joy within you. You're so mellow and calm and happy. I take you everywhere I can, and you sit in my lap and go along with whatever.

And you are such. a. flirt. Tilting your head to the side, you give a confident grin that melts any one's heart.

Eight months old, my little one. And you are not so little anymore. Something I am not ready for.

I adore you, my little love. Happy eight months.

My Little Love.

My Favorite Kisses Are The Sloppy Ones

My Dearest Tadpole,

Seven months old now, and you just experienced your first Christmas. You are such an easy going, relaxed baby. Through all the holiday chaos, all the holiday parties, you were so happy and carefree.

You didn't even cry when you met Santa. You only stared at his beard.
A few weeks ago I was having a kale salad for lunch and you sneaked a little bit off my plate when I wasn't looking and ate it. I was hoping to hold off on solids a little longer, but you had different plans. If I don't offer you whatever I have on my plate, you dive forward and try to grab it yourself. So I've been offering pieces here and there: some banana, salad, mashed potatoes, sweet potato, and broccoli. So far potatoes and broccoli are your favorites. I don't give you much, just a taste here and there, and that seems to be all you want.

You are SO CLOSE to crawling! You get up on all fours, and that's where you get stuck, struggling and then finally crying for me to sit you back up on your butt again.

You look to me often. You put your arms up so that I will pick you up, you love to sit on my lap. You twist yourself around and put your hands on either side of my face, hold my head still, and study my eyes. And you give kisses!!! Big, sloppy kisses that leave drool on my face, but it is so cute that I don't mind.

You seem to have a special relationship with The Mermaid. She carries you around, entertains you, talks to you. Sometimes I see a look pass between the two of you, a wordless understanding that I am left out of. I admit, I feel a small pang of jealousy when this happens, and also when she makes you laugh so hard that you shake. I never can make you laugh that hard, no matter how much I try. But in the end, I am so glad that you have such a great relationship with your sisters.

I hate being away from you. Going to the gym for an hour recharges my batteries, but I always miss you and rush home, where you greet me with a smile and a big sloppy kiss.

I am so blessed to have you in my life, and I love you so much.

You bring me such joy, little one.

My Favorite Kisses Are The Sloppy Ones

Just Kidding

Just kidding.

Sort of.

You wake up always around 7AM, and we nurse. Then you play happily with your feet while I get your sisters ready for the day. We eat breakfast, you nurse, then nap, then nurse, then play, then nurse, then play, then bedtime.

It all seems so ordinary, doesn't it?

But it's not.

Every day with you somehow seems magical. Watching you nurse, studying you as you take in your surroundings...seeing you grow and learn right in front of my eyes.

Magical.

You are so polite. You don't really cry, you just make a gentle sound to let me know that you want to nurse, or want your diaper changed.

Each time you laugh, it tugs at my heart, and sends tingles up my spine. Six months ago, I didn't know you, hadn't met you. And now I can't imagine my life without you.

Now you smile whenever I walk into the room. Now you have tickle spots. Now you hold your arms up when you want me to pick you up.

Now, when I softly call your name, you turn to me and look me in the eye. I think that is my favorite milestone so far, the fact that you now know your name, know who you are.

I wonder, do you like your name? Does it make you happy to hear me whisper it in your ear, followed by the words "I love you"? Does it help you comprehend in any way the power and force of the love that I feel for you, will always feel for you?

Probably not. But I whisper it to you anyway, and you look at me with recognition, and yes, I think with love too.

Another beautiful month, my son. Can't wait to see what the next one brings.

Wordful Wednesday

Just Kidding

My Lips Are Sealed.

The Tadpole turned six months old today.

I don't want to talk about it.

My Lips Are Sealed.

Knowing Only Love

I know it's not intentional...but when you cry, you say "Mama!" and it warms my heart.

Five months old now, and I can barely remember what is was like without you in my life.

You bring us such joy and happiness. You take your sister's affections in stride, even when they almost smother you with their love.

Most days, you sit in whatever carrier I chose for the day, just going along for the ride, quietly observing life from my arms.

But every day, I sneak you up to my room and close the door. And for about 15 minutes, it's just you and me, and oh how you smile and laugh and talk during that special time!!

I watch you laugh at the girls, and I watch as you sit nestled safety in The Mermaid's arms.

I wonder, what is it like to be born and knowing from day one only love like this? To be surrounded by such love and having it the only thing you know?

You are so lucky, little one. And so are we.

Happy 5 months, my little Tadpole.

Knowing Only Love

Higher, Higher!

Hey Mom! she calls to me, as she runs by on the soccer field.

I wonder, when did I become "Mom" instead of "Mommy"?

Later, at the playground, she asks me to push her on the swings.

Higher, Mom! I want to swing higher!

I reluctantly push her higher.

Higher, Mom! I want to go higher than the trees! Higher than the mountains! Higher than an airplane!!!

Oh no. That's much too high for me.

But ready or not, she's growing up.

Four years old today, and I remember how when she was two she had promised me she was going to stay little forever.

Silently, in my head, I beg her to keep swinging just a little lower, to stay just a little closer to me for just a little longer. But she wants to soar...ever higher, ever farther from me.

And because I know she's ready, I close my eyes...and push.

Higher, Higher!

Switch!!

Four months old today.

Two weeks ago exactly, a switch went off...and you stopped crying.

You are now a happy baby. Oh so cute and adorable and laughing!! Yes, you laugh now!

You love to play with The Guppy. But you grab her hair a little too often for her comfort.
I put you down, and you play happily with your toys. A switch, I tell you.

Four months old, and you've already learned a family motto:

In this family, behind every baby boy...
...is an older sister who takes care of you just as lovingly and fiercely as I do.

My darling baby, only four months old and you have already experienced so much love. Do you know how blessed you are?

We are blessed, too.

Switch!!

Is Forever Enough?

She's my firstborn. And today, she turns six.

She's going through a phase where she doesn't like her picture taken, so when I see she's absorbed in her painting I sneak a couple shots.You can't tell in the picture, but she's singing while she paints. She always sings when she is concentrating.

Oops. Busted.

I convince her to take just one shot of her holding her painting. It's of her and I hugging.
Later I ask her what song she was singing, and she doesn't remember.

But I do. Lullaby by Dixie Chicks.

I hang the painting up on the fridge, next to the homeschooling schedule and magnet dolls. One day, my fridge will only be covered with photographs and shopping lists. No children's paintings, no drawings done with fat crayons held in little hands.

Six years old. And you still paint pictures of us hugging, give me kisses goodnight, and bring me books to read to you.

And you still sing while you paint.

It won't last forever. I cherish every moment.

'Cause I'm never never giving you up.

Is Forever Enough?

Just Being Us

One day, you were a wish in my heart...an inkling of something that I desired.

And then, suddenly, you were here in my arms.

Three months old, and you are laughing now. We're still working some kinks out, but oh how I love you.

Three months, and in those short three months, I feel as though we have gone through so much together. But we've come out the other side, finally figured each other out and this whole relationship we have is finally starting to work out.

This morning I was nursing you, and you looked straight into my eyes and my heart skipped a beat because I knew that you were seeing Me, who I am and nothing else, and loving me for just being in your life.

I feel the same way.

Happy three months, baby. I can't wait to see what the coming months bring!

Just Being Us

Pinch Me

You're two months old now.

Smiling and laughing, you are definitely a mommy's boy.
You look straight at me, and it's like you are looking straight into my heart and soul.
These days, I find myself needing more me time. I have Grandma or your daddy watch you and your sisters and escape to the gym for an hour. But as soon as I get home, I walk through the door, sweep you up into my arms, and kiss you all over.
Because you? You are my dream come true.

Happy Two Months, little man.

Pinch Me

Oh Baby, My Sweetheart

You can in a whirlwind, ten days overdue but intent to come out fast when you were finally ready.

You came out with your sister's eyes, a thick umbilical chord and a strong cry.

You came out into a room filled with love, just for you.

The first week was another whirlwind. I was sick with mastitis, we were having problems breastfeeding, and you were not content unless you were on my breast and in my arms. You woke up in the middle of the night and fussed for hours, and fussed also in the mornings and evenings.

I held you and gave you kisses. I whispered in your ear that I love you. I waited patiently, know that we would figure this thing out, that we would learn how to comfort one another.

Now, you are a month old. Now, you sleep peacefully at night. Now, you only have one fussy period in the morning, and I hold you and cuddle with you until you are able to settle down.

Things have slowed down. We have slowed down. Enough to sit quietly together and enjoy each other. Enough to give in to whatever we are and accept it and love each other for it. You are a baby that needs to cry, and I am a mother who is far from perfect. But it works for us.

We are mother and baby. We are nursings and hugs and kisses and coos.

We are love.

Happy one month, little one. So excited to see what the next one brings!

Oh Baby, My Sweetheart

The Ride of Your Life

My Dearest Mermaid,

Earlier today, you made a decision. Mommy, I want to ride the roller coaster.

I hesitated. Last time you had tried to ride the roller coaster, you got frightened and cried the entire ride. You must have sensed my hesitation, because you quickly reassured me.

Don't worry Mommy, I won't be scared. I'm five now, I'm a big girl.

You head up the steps and to my surprise, immediately head to the front car. You wiggle anxiously while the others are loaded in, and then grip the handlebars tight as the cars start moving.

The cars go around the tracks three times...up and down, up and down. The first time, you cling tight to the handle bars and your eyes open wide...but you don't cry. The second time, you smile slightly and tentatively raise one arm in the air. By the third trip around, you have both arms straight up in the air and your face is beaming with joy and exhilaration.

You come bounding off the platform and jump into my arms. Mommy, I did it!! I didn't get scared, I really am a big girl!!

You skip ahead of me the rest of the night, too old to hold my hand as we weave through the busy crowd. It starts getting dark, and when we ask what other rides you want to go on, you clutch my hand, pull me close and whisper in my ear.

I know I'm a big girl now, Mommy. But, I am getting really tired. Can we go home so you can tuck me in?

I realize then that watching you grow and become independent is like being on my own personal roller coaster with you. It has its ups and downs, and we don't throw our arms up in the air all at once. We take our time and wait until we are ready for the next step...ready to put one arm up and then the other...

...ready to let go.

And when we do, its a moment filled with joy and exhilaration.

Happy Birthday, my Mermaid. I love you so much.

The Ride of Your Life

Two Too Soon

My dearest Guppy,

This morning started out like any other day: you woke up and we lay in bed together, you nursing contently and me looking at the clock, impatiently wondering how soon you would be done so I could get up and start my busy day.

That's when it hit me: today is Friday, September 26th: your birthday.

Still nursing and only half awake, you rolled onto your side, kicked your leg up onto my waist, and grabbed a handful of my hair. Your favorite nursing position. I stopped looking at the clock and bent down to kiss your forehead and breathe in your sweet scent. Your light colored hair, thick and curly, tickled my nose. Your face so sweet and clean, your eyelids fluttering with sleep, your delicate nose showing signs of both baby and toddlerhood. Your hand clutched my hair, not tiny like a newborn's, but still small and precious.

What an odd stage this is, this period of in-between baby and child. You still need me to nurse you, cuddle you, change you, help you climb, help you do so many things that you've always needed me to do. But now this new aspect of independence is thrown into the mix: you've discovered that you are your own independent person with your own likes and dislikes, wants and desires, and you try to assert that independence as much as possible.

You see things that your older sister does and you want to do them too; but only with my help. We both know you can walk up and down stairs, but you cry until someone carries you down. You get frustrated when I won't let you walk around in stores, but you insist I carry you when we walk outside. You insist on nursing many, many times during the day, but you only nurse for short periods of time. You love to dance, but only when you think no one is looking. You love to sign, but only when you decide to do it, not when someone asks you to.

You love babies, Mickey Mouse (and you really love Mickey Mouse), coloring, reading, running, nursing, and now, talking. Your vocabulary has increased dramatically in the past two months; you are now talking in complete sentences. My favorite sentence? "I love you, Mommy".

You've only been in my life for two years, but it feels like you've always been here. When you came into our world, sweetly and gently into the water and into my heart, you fit so perfectly into our life and our dreams that it was like nothing had changed; you were just there. I can no longer remember what life was like before you; before your soft, sweet weight on my hip; before your smile that beams in my face and makes me laugh; before your sweet gentle voice dancing in my ear like fairies.

I'm sorry I get so impatient with you sometimes. I'm sorry when I annoyingly tell you to "go play" when you are following me around the house, trying to get my attention. I'm sorry I push you to be independent sometimes when I know deep down you are not ready, like with sleeping through the night and nursing less often. Don't listen to me; keep insisting that you want to take your time. I'll try to remember to let you set the pace, to remind myself that I am going to sincerely miss the bed-time nursings and your constant presence following me, reminding me to sit down and relax, to take a break during the day.

The moment you came into this world, you latched on beautifully and began to nurse. A partnership was born between you and I. Our bond came on so quickly and powerfully that it was almost scary how overwhelmed with love I was towards you. That partnership has changed, but the essence remains the same; we need and love one another. Our relationship will continue to evolve and change, but just remember that I am always here for you, no matter what.

By now you have fallen back asleep, but your lips are still moving as though you are nursing in your dreams. I should get up and start my day, but I don't. Instead, I pull the blankets more soundly over the two of us and settle in for a nice long snuggle. Your breathe smells milky and sweet, and my eyes tear up with love. What a pair we make.

Small hand grasps my hair

Nursing while touched by dawn's light

What a pair we make.

Sun lights up your hair

Sweet kisses to your tummy

My first gift to you.

I love you, my little Guppy.

Two Too Soon

Still Cheering You On

It's this morning. You and I are in the van, just the two of us. I'm taking you out for breakfast for your birthday. I already promised you that you can have the pancakes with the M&M's.

We pull into the parking lot and I glance down just in time to see the clock turn to 7:33 AM. The exact time you were born, four years ago. The first glimpse of your precious newborn face flashes through my mind, and then I glance into the rearview mirror to observe you quietly for a moment. You are excited, talking about how many pancakes you are going to order, your face lit up in delight, one pigtail slightly higher than the other, a smudge of toothpaste still on the corner of your mouth. You are beautiful.

We sit down at the table and order our juice, and then you announce that you have to use the potty. We head towards the single-stall restroom, but when we reach the door you spin around, put out your hand, and say, "No Mommy, you stay here. I can do it myself." I shouldn't be surprised. You were always the independent one, you always knew what you wanted and that was that. You chose when to wean, you chose when to potty train, and now, you are choosing to grow up and become even more independent, whether I am ready for it or not.

As much as I hate to admit it, I am not ready.

How did this happen? Did I really, truly think that you would stay little forever? That I would have all the time in the world to make up for our rocky newborn days, when I suffered from postpartum depression and did little but the basics to meet your needs? I yearn so much to be able to turn back the clock and go back to those newborn days, to change my actions, to do more than change your diapers and nurse you, to actually hold you and cuddle with you and take in your sweet, newborn scent. Now, when I ask to snuggle with you, you manage to sit still next to me for about five minutes before you bounce off to continue to play.

You exit the restroom and we return to the table and order our food. We talk and color, you write out your name and we count to 20. When the waitress brings our food, you announce to her that you are now four years old, your face proud and overjoyed.

I take a deep breathe, and let out all my feelings of regret. You are independent. You have outgrown so many needs that you received from me. You no longer need nursies, you no longer need me to help you go potty, and most of the time, you no longer need me to cuddle with you. But, that does not make me insignificant in your life. You still need me to teach you, to hold your hand in parking lots, and to help you pick out your outfits. You and I still have a special bond that I will always cherish; the bond of a mother and daughter. I will always be here for you, no matter how independent you become, no matter how many times you tell me, "No Mommy, I can do it myself."

When we exit the restaurant and head for the van, you automatically slip your hand into mine and I smile. I give it three quick squeezes: our silent code for "I love you." You turn your still-little face up to mine and say, "I love you too, Mommy" and my heart melts.

Tonight you have your very first soccer practice. The days of playdates are slowly transitioning into organized sports and homeschooling activities, and now I am okay with it. Now, instead of sitting in my lap nursing while I chat with other moms at a playgroup, you will be on the field, by yourself, learning and laughing without me by your side. But, if you stop for a second and listen closely, you will hear me cheering you on from the sidelines. Always.

Happy Birthday, my precious Mermaid. I love you so much.

Still Cheering You On

Three Year Old Letter

My Dearest Mermaid,

Wow. Three years old. I never knew that someone so young could be so utterly and wonderfully amazing, and have such a powerful and wonderful impact on my life.

My baby girl, My sweetie, My honey bunny. All names that I call you with affection. But more and more you are insisting that you are no longer those things, that you are a big girl. You are now at a stage where you are walking the line between being an independent young girl and a little baby girl who still needs her Mommy.

You love to help out around the house and you love to help out with your sister. If the Guppy so much as thinks about crying you try everything in your power to keep her happy. You are so emphatic with people; if you sense that they are sad you ask them what is wrong and tell them not to worry. You are so good at voicing your feelings, you are never afraid to tell me that "I am a happy Mermaid!" or "I am a sad Mermaid," etc. I love how you can do this, how you realize that voicing your emotions is a powerful and effective way to communicate with people.

You never fail to make me laugh at least five times a day. You devour books but snub food, preferring only to eat a minuscule amount each day. You love cuddles, hugs, and kisses. And you especially love the Daddy Time that you get when I have to work at night. You get along so well with other children, interacting with them in such a way that everyone somehow ends up feeling happy.

Words cannot describe how much I love you, my Dearest Mermaid. And so, I will instead list the things that I love about you, that make me smile when I am down and that remind me that life is worth living. Happy Birthday, My lovely Mermaid! You are everything to me!

65 Things I Love About My Mermaid: A Birthday List

1. The way you give hugs

2. The way you give kisses

3. The way you laugh that cute little laugh that you know will make me laugh so hard I snort

4. The fact that you are so good with your little sister

5. That you love to be tickled

6. That you love tickling people

7. The way your voice sounds when you are talking to me on the phone when I'm at work

8. The way you say "I love you"

9. The way you say "I missed you"

10. That you can sing so many children's song by heart.

11. That you love to sing "You Are My Sunshine" to me

12. That you love to sing

13. That you like to hear me sing

14. That you have such a large appetite for learning

15. That you are always so willing to help people whenever you can

16. That you are so friendly and honest

17. The way you tumble and jump around and like to try to do flips off the couch

18. Even though it always nearly gives me a heart attack and you laugh

19. The way you get so excited when your Daddy gets home

20. The way you get just as excited for me when I get home

21. The way we can take you anywhere because you are so content and calm

22. Even though sometimes your energy explodes out of your little body and we end up chasing you throughout the store

23. That you have not yet shown yourself to having a single mean bone in your body

24. That you love to dance any place, any time

25. That you dance better than me.

26. That even though I look foolish when I dance, you aren't embarrassed to have me dance with you in public.

27. That whenever I get dressed and ready for the day, you tell me I look "boooootiful"

28. That you say I look beautiful even on the days that I don't.

29. That even when I slip up and lose my temper and yell too much, at the end of the day you still give me a hug and kiss goodnight and tell me that you love me.

30. That you have this amazing capacity to forgive.

31. That you love animals.

32. Even though you haven't caught yet to the idea that hugging the cat who has sharp claws when she is cranky isn't a good idea.

33. How cute you look when you play dress up

34. How cute you look when you are sleeping.

35. How cute you look all the time.

36. How you choose fruits and veggies over cookies and candy.

37.The way you love to brush your teeth.

38. The way you love to brush your hair.

39. The way you love to brush my hair

40. Even when my hair is snarly and it becomes quite a task.

41. That I can walk through a toy store with confidence, knowing I won't hear "Mommy I want I want I want"

42. How you are only three years old and already your shoe fetish is worse than mine

43. How you already have more shoes than I do

44. How you steal and wear mine anyway

45. How you don't discriminate, because you steal your daddy's shoes too

46. How you help me put away the groceries

47. That you LOVE to dust furniture.

48. How if you see the Guppy holding a small toy, you take it away so she won't choke on it.

49. The way you count in Spanish

50. The way you count in German

51. Even the way you count in English

52. How you love to "read" the Guppy books

53. How you have such an amazing imagination.

54. How you greet everyone who walks through our door with a smile and laugh

55. How you can make your grandma laugh

56. In fact, you can make her laugh first thing in the morning

57. Before she's had her coffee

58. When the rest of us can't even utter a word to her.

59. How you think it's hilarious when Mommy's legs get too hairy

60. That the first thing you do when you wake up is smile

61. That you are absolutely fearless

63. That you are always up to trying new things

64. That you are so artistic

65. That I can look at you and know without doubt that you feel loved and secure and our family, and that you never hesitate to come to me when you need a helping hand or just a shoulder to cry on.

Three Year Old Letter

11 Month Old Letter

My Dearest Guppy,

You are now 11 months old. Unbelievable. In two weeks, we will be celebrating your sister's and your birthdays with one big party. I was finally able to pick out a date and time, and even think up some activities for the kids to do.

So yes, I may have planned your first birthday party. And yes, I will be so happy to celebrate that birthday. But for now, I am so thankful for our quiet nursing times, for the fact that you want to be held a lot, and for the fact that you still are, and always will be, my little baby.

This month your two front teeth and one side front tooth has come in. You also decided that you would, in fact, like to crawl. However, you keep one leg in front of you when you crawl and push it forward as you go, so it is definitely amusing watching you do your "special" crawl.

You love to crawl after your sister. You two are playing together so well I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. You love it when I pull you up to a standing position. You still love being in the Mai Tei. And you've also discovered the joys of the kiddie pool. Your signing vocabulary has expanded to include Daddy and Thank you. You continue to love your solids.

Some times you get fussy and irritable; I imagine it's because you've been teething so much lately. But for the most part, you are so calm and relaxed and you love to just go with the flow. Your favorite pastime is watching the Mermaid perform her wild antics and sometimes you crawl frantically after her, trying to keep up.

One thing that I have noticed and that I am glad for is that you tend to gravitate for the quiet toys. Flashing lights and loud sounds just don't do it for you. Instead you will reach for the wooden blocks, or your wooden zebra and elephant. This is a great relief as your father and I have decided to slowly convert all the toys in the house to wooden and more natural toys. You also don't show much love for the television, thank Goodness, unlike your sister who wants all the TV time she can get.

Although your nursing has slowed down since you started crawling, you still crawl over to me several times a day to nurse and "touch base" after all your play time adventures. I make sure to always be there for you during these times, as I understand the value of a little down time now and then. Remember that I will always be here for you, supporting you, loving you. The same goes for your sister and your father. You, my dear, are one lucky baby. ;o)
Love,
Mommy

11 Month Old Letter