Bit by the Running Bug!

Yesterday I ran the 5th Annual Lone Gull 10K.

One year ago, I was almost 50lbs heavier and could not walk up the stairs without getting out of breath. If you had told me back then that in one year I would be almost 50lbs lighter and run a 10K, I would have laughed.

I think it's just hitting me now that I actually ran a 10K! Granted I did not run the entire time but I ran a good portion of it, and I finished. That was my goal, just to finish.

The course was absolutely gorgeous, it was by the ocean and the views on the beach were wonderful! I ran it with a friend, so it really was a lot of fun! My legs are so sore but it was really worth it!

I'm hooked :) I'm finishing up my training with Couch to 5K, and then will do a 10K program and then 1/2 marathon, then marathon, etc.

I can't wait for my next race!

Bit by the Running Bug!

Priorities

"Look Mommy! It's a plane!" the Mermaid shouts, pointing up to the sky and jumping with excitement.

"What? Oh, yeah. Great." I say, while scrubbing the counters.

"Look Mommy! It's a butterfly!" says the Guppy, skipping across the grass.

"Hmmm" I say, not even looking up from sweeping.

I sweep and scrub and sweep some more, and it still looks like no cleaning has been done at the end of the day. And that is just life with three small children.

But I wonder, at what point did a spotless counter become more important than sharing with my child the joy of observing a butterfly fly across the yard? Or the wonder of watching a FLYING machine cross the sky?

And why

am I still holding this broom

instead of their hands, as we run across the grass?

Because in the end, we are all stepping on cereal. But...so what?

Priorities

I Wish I Had Known These Things

My dearest children,

I want you to know that everyone makes mistakes, and that I will always love you. Always.
I want you to know what it is like to hold your child for the first time, and feel that unconditional love wash over you as you realize that you would do anything to keep your baby from harm.
I want you to know that no matter how far you travel, how distant you become, you all will always have a home to come back to. To reconnect, to visit, to remember that there is nothing quite like the love and support of your siblings.
I want you to know that nothing is guaranteed in life. There is no golden ticket. There will be hardships and obstacles that you will have to face. But, as they are climbing those hills and scaling those mountains, turn your face to the sunshine and reflect upon the strength that these experiences will give you.

I want you to know that you were born perfect just the way you are. You were born already equipped with everything you need to accomplish whatever you want in life. Don't compromise your character; don't let anyone tell you that you are not enough. Love yourself, and know your worth.

Love,

Mom.

I Wish I Had Known These Things

Seven Years Is A Long Time

A few months ago I won a one-night stay at a local hotel. This weekend, The Knight and I decided to take advantage of it.

Of course, that meant leaving The Tadpole overnight for the first time. I've been called to births in the middle of the night, but never have I left him for an entire day, night, then another day.

But, I felt that he was ready. He never really fusses when I'm gone. And, he doesn't nurse to sleep, unlike both The Mermaid and The Guppy did at his age.

So, we left all three kids with my IL's and went on our way. It was great. We visited all the local historical sites, which was fun for us because we are both history buffs. We went out to eat, did some window shopping, and relaxed while reading books by the hotel's pool.

And the best part was that I slept through the night completely for the first time in SEVEN YEARS!

We headed back around lunch time the next day to pick up the kids and when The Tadpole saw us come in....he turned and ran the other way, upset about having to leave.

I guess he was ready, after all.

And this is something The Knight and I are going to have to do more often.

How was your weekend?

Seven Years Is A Long Time

Summer

We spend a lot of time in the car.

We go to the art museum, the Ecotarium, Broad Meadow Brook Conservation Center, and the splash pad. We have family passes for all three.

We turn off the air conditioner and roll down the windows and sing along to The Wiggles CD at the top of our lungs. Sometimes it might be A Duck In New York City by Connie Kaldor, or a CD from the library, but mostly it's The Wiggles.

We walk quickly through the art museum, the girls stopping for an extra minute in front of their favorite paintings. We meet animals at the Ecotarium and hike at Broad Meadow Brook.

We go to the splash pad and the girls shriek as the water pours down on them. The Tadpole peers down at a small fountain when the water stops for a moment, then it suddenly comes shooting out again and sprays him in the face. I cringe and tense, waiting for his cry, but he just blinks and laughs.

Then we come home, tidy the house and harvest fresh vegetables from the garden for dinner. We sit outside on our deck, laughing and talking and I am amazed at least once a night by something my kids says to me. They are so insightful sometimes!

Before we know it, it's bedtime and as I tuck the girls in The Guppy asks Can we do this again tomorrow?

Absolutely.

Summer

Dancing Queen

Yesterday The Guppy was in her first dance recital. She did both a ballet number and a tap number.

I was worried that she would be nervous, but I was wrong. She LOVED being on stage!! She loved the attention and being in the spotlight and is already begging for more dance classes. I think she has been bit by the dancing bug.
The Mermaid was such a good audience, cheering her on and talking about how she is so proud of her little sister!
The lighting was terrible, the pictures came out horrible. But she is the one in the middle. This was her tap number.
She's the one standing straight with her arms raised. Her ballet number.
She was so impossibly cute. I almost passed out from all the cuteness.

Dancing Queen

The Best Thing

Six months ago I was convinced I was going to be spending today alone, as a single mom.

Funny how it didn't turn out that way.

How could it possibly be that the best thing to happen to my marriage was separation and then filing for divorce? I don't know.

I will say that I feel that we are stronger than ever. And that's a good thing.

Happy Valentine's Day to my Knight.

The Best Thing

Good Chaos

I didn't blog at all last week. Things were so chaotic.
Not the I-just-want-to-leave-some-Doritos-out-for-the-kids-to-find-and-lock-myself-in-the-bedroom chaotic. A good kind of chaotic.

Chaos that was full of a whirlwind of smiles, laughter, joy, and plans. Lots of plans for the future. Lots of exciting things happening, and more exciting things that are right at our fingertips.


The kind of chaotic that wakes you up at night, not with worry, but with a smile and a girl giggle of anticipation for things to come.
And of course, in the midst of all this, they are there: smiling with their beautiful smiles, adding more joy to the pile.

So please forgive my absence. The Joy was overwhelming.

Good Chaos

He Feels Pretty

They play games with him, making silly faces and jumping around, anything to make him laugh.

They set up a hair salon. He is their "prettiest" customer.

The Mermaid looks up at me and says "Thank you mom, for giving us such an awesome brother!"

And my heart melts

Until I am a puddle on the floor.

A pool

of

Love

For them to splash in.

He Feels Pretty

Best of 2010

A picture of my girls sleeping. It's one of my favorites. I had it enlarged and it hangs in our hallways.

I remember that moment. The Guppy had trouble falling asleep for her nap, so The Mermaid lay down with her and sang her a lullaby before falling asleep herself. I had been grouchy and irritable that day. But listening to her sing, I swear my heart swelled so large it hurt in my chest and made my eyes water.

I was thinking last night about 2010, and what my favorite day or event was. I couldn't think of one. There were LOTS of amazing and incredible days in 2010, The Tadpole's birth for example, but although I will cherish those memories, they are not what made 2010 so special for me. It was the little moments of peace and joy and love, like the one above.

No, there isn't one big favorite event of 2010 for me. But I have plenty of little moments that I cherish, and those little moments add up one big event....my life.

And I am loving my life!!

Best of 2010

Jingle Bells

The girls were in their first Christmas this weekend. They were in the choir, and sang Jingle Bells. The Mermaid is not a quiet child; I laughed when I heard her voice above the others.
I like our church. It's very liberal and open, and everyone is so incredibly nice. It's a great community and I'm so glad my kids get to be a part of it.
Now their memories of Christmas will be made up of community, instead of just images of the inside of the mall.

Jingle Bells

That's Better

He always tilts his head to the side when he smiles. Or when he studies me.


I don't have to hide my faults around him. He loves me anyway. But looking into those eyes, all I want to do is try to be a better person.

Having him in my life makes me a better person.

That's Better

Bookshelf Porn

I am drooling over here. Drooling.

Bookshelf Porn

Bookshelf Porn

Soccer Stars, Part 2

This past weekend, The Guppy got her chance to be the soccer star when she was awarded her medal at her team's pizza party. The joy on her face at getting her very first medal was priceless!!

Later, after she had gotten her medal and eaten her pizza, she pulled me close and whispered "Next time, can I do dance instead of soccer?"


She is my delicate flower.

Soccer Stars, Part 2

Joy in a Jar

Lately I've had a slight obsession with glass jars. I save them, wash them, peel the labels off. I store things in them...sunflower seeds, cotton balls, q-tips, extra change.

They're simple. Graceful. They go with everything. And they are very real; with glass jars, what you see is what you get.

No games. No guesses.

The Mermaid has picked up on my obsession and has made it her mission to find things to store in my jars. Last night she picked some dandelions from the backyard, filled a jar with water and put them in. Then she placed the jar on the table for dinner and announced, "We need a little joy for dinner."

We all sat down. The girls' hair was messy, their ponytails and braids having long fell out. The Tadpole was a bit grumpy, and I was a bit grumpy myself from having to walk/hold/sing to him all day. But I think it's important for us to eat at least one meal together as a family, so I got dinner on the table and we sat down to eat, with all our flaws and imperfections.

We are like the glass jars collecting in my house. We are simple, but graceful. We may shatter, we may crack, and we may not be perfect, but we are real.

What you see is what you get.

And fill us with the right things...then we can provide a lot of joy.

Joy in a Jar

Very Lovely.

It's Thursday morning, day four of our first homeschooling vacation. The girls and I have enjoyed the week off so far. It's nice to have some down time. It's been lovely.

The Tadpole is laying on the blanket on the kitchen floor. His eyes follow me wherever I go. Every day I think that my heart has reached it's limit of expansion...but then he smiles at me, or laughs, and I feel it expand just a little more.

He's such a beautiful, happy baby now. He has this cute way of "crying", where he doesn't actually open his mouth, but cries back in his throat through closed lips. It actually sounds like humming.

I have a baby who hums to get my attention. How lovely is that?

Lately things have been just "clicking" for me. Homeschooling is going great. My doula business is heading in the right direction. I'm losing weight (20 pounds below pre-pregnancy weight so far), so I feel healthy and full of energy.

I feel happy. Lovely.

And that other person? The person who would let herself get stressed and overwhelmed and snap at the girls?

Well, she hasn't been seen around these parts for quite a while.

And it's been lovely.

Very Lovely.

Beautiful Jewels

For art the girls wanted to make a me a nursing necklace, because lately The Tadpole has grown fond of yanking on my hair while nursing.

They were oh so patient with stringing on the beads, and concentrated so hard.
Diamond's may be some girls' best friend, but not me. This necklace is all I need.

Beautiful Jewels

Mini Vacation

Every other weekend the girls go off to their father's house and it's just The Tadpole and I.

I really look forward to these weekends, as going from three kids down to one feels like a mini-vacation.

I sit and nurse him, looking in his eyes and letting him take his time instead of wishing that he would just hurry up and finish because I can hear The Mermaid jumping on my bed and The Guppy getting into the paints.

And time s l o w s d o w n

And we sit and play, without worrying if the girls got their school work done or what lessons they have scheduled for that day...

And I take pictures. Pictures with my phone and blurry pictures that don't come out right because it is hard to hold a baby and a camera at the same time, but I love them anyway because they are pictures of The Tadpole and I. They are our secret.

And I pick him up and he smiles at me then blows a raspberry at me and I laugh until I feel dizzy. And I kiss his feet and and hands and marvel at how they look like little boy's feet and hands and yes, I have a BOY!

And on Sunday evening, the girls get home all excited and loud, clamoring to tell me all the fun things they did at their father's. And The Mermaid asks me what The Tadpole and I did all weekend and when I say "We hung out at home" she tells me that she is sorry my weekend was so boring.

And I look over at The Tadpole and give him a knowing smile, and for a second, I swear I see him give me one back.

And yes, I am so, so, blessed.

Mini Vacation

Higher, Higher!

Hey Mom! she calls to me, as she runs by on the soccer field.

I wonder, when did I become "Mom" instead of "Mommy"?

Later, at the playground, she asks me to push her on the swings.

Higher, Mom! I want to swing higher!

I reluctantly push her higher.

Higher, Mom! I want to go higher than the trees! Higher than the mountains! Higher than an airplane!!!

Oh no. That's much too high for me.

But ready or not, she's growing up.

Four years old today, and I remember how when she was two she had promised me she was going to stay little forever.

Silently, in my head, I beg her to keep swinging just a little lower, to stay just a little closer to me for just a little longer. But she wants to soar...ever higher, ever farther from me.

And because I know she's ready, I close my eyes...and push.

Higher, Higher!

Switch!!

Four months old today.

Two weeks ago exactly, a switch went off...and you stopped crying.

You are now a happy baby. Oh so cute and adorable and laughing!! Yes, you laugh now!

You love to play with The Guppy. But you grab her hair a little too often for her comfort.
I put you down, and you play happily with your toys. A switch, I tell you.

Four months old, and you've already learned a family motto:

In this family, behind every baby boy...
...is an older sister who takes care of you just as lovingly and fiercely as I do.

My darling baby, only four months old and you have already experienced so much love. Do you know how blessed you are?

We are blessed, too.

Switch!!