Welcome, Carnival of Breastfeeding readers to the sixth Carnival of Breastfeeding! This month's topic is "What I Didn't Expect When I Was Expecting"; prenatal expectations of breastfeeding vs. your actual experience of breastfeeding. You can find my submission below, followed by links to other bloggers' posts on what they didn't expect.
I think most women, when they are expecting an infant, picture breastfeeding as this blissful experience where they are sitting in a rocking chair, relaxing, and nursing their calm, happy baby. With that image in mind, a lot of women are taken by surprise by how hard and challenging breastfeeding can be at the beginning. It takes a while for both you and the baby to learn how to breastfeed successfully, and sometimes, you have to work hard for it.
I never had these blissful expectations. As soon as I knew that I was going to be breastfeeding, I hoped for the best but planned for the worst. See, I didn't know a single person who had successfully breastfed their baby for more than three weeks, and I was determined to make it work. So before the Mermaid was even born, I fully versed myself on how to correct a latch, treat mastititis, and where I could contact a Lactation Consultant. Luckily, after some small bumps in the road concerning weight gain, the Mermaid and I had no problems establishing a successful relationship.
However, there was one area in which my prenatal expectations of nursing were way off from my actual experiences: nursing in public.
See, because I was so determined to make this breastfeeding thing work, I resolved to face any opposition head on, especially when it came to breastfeeding in public. While pregnant, I would imagine being approached while I nursed (modestly) in public and having something said to me, such as "Shouldn't you be doing that in the bathroom?" I would picture myself coming up with all these amazing responses while I continued to confidently, yet discreetly, nurse my newborn.
It didn't exactly work out that way.
Nursing a newborn can be a very awkward experience. Most of the time, I was too busy trying to get the Mermaid latched on right to remember to cover myself and not let my entire breast flop around in full sight. I thought that I would never get the hang of it, and so...I gave up. I started pumping bottles of expressed breast milk to bring along and feed to the Mermaid when I was out of the house. Let me tell you, that was a pain.
One day the Knight and I went with my mom to a local fair. And silly me, I forgot to bring enough bottles of expressed breast milk. There we were, in the tent where the Budweiser horses were being housed, and the Mermaid decided to erupt with hunger. Now, this tent was very crowded. The long line of people started at the front of the tent, wove through and around the entire tent, then back out the front. At the far left of the tent was an empty table and a chair. I had no choice but to breastfeed her there, in full view of everyone. I was extremely nervous, but somehow I managed to get her latched on without showing any skin. Pleased that I was able to accomplish this, I proudly looked up at all the mingling people and dared someone to say something.
Guess what? Nobody noticed. Nobody cared.
From that day on I ditched the bottles and nursed the Mermaid wherever I went. And I never got a dirty look or comment, even when the Mermaid got over a year old. In fact, when she was thirteen months old, the Knight and I were at a friend's house that we hadn't seen in years. The Mermaid toddled over to me while I sat talking to our friend's wife and I nursed her for about fifteen minutes, while continuing my conversation, before she happily toddled away again. So imagine my surprise when, ten minutes later, my friend's wife asked if I was still nursing her."Um...yes, didn't you notice me just nursing her ten minutes ago?""Oh my goodness, no, I couldn't even tell, I just thought she was trying to nap!"
So there you have it. Eventually my prenatal expectations of being able to nurse in public with confidence were realized, but it took some time and forgetfulness on my part. Good thing too, because the Guppy refuses to take the bottle, and so I would have never been able to get away with feeding her a bottle when out in public. I still nurse the Guppy where ever I go, with confidence and discreetness, and I still have never gotten a dirty look or comment worth mentioning.
So I leave you with this: To all moms who are expecting and are planning on breastfeeding, if you feel awkward about nursing in public, try practicing at home. Practice in front of your partner or a mirror. You will be surprised on how little skin you actually show when nursing discreetly.
I hope you enjoyed reading about what I didn't expect when I was expecting. Please be sure to drop by and read what these bloggers had to say:
Tanya at The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog tells us how she prepared for breastfeeding when she was pregnant.
Sinead at BreastfeedingMums Blog writes about the things she wishes she had known about breastfeeding before her daughter was born.
Melanie at Spit up on my Shoulder tells us why "Education is key" when it comes to breastfeeding.
Angela at Breastfeeding 1-2-3 tell us "What I didn't expect when I was expecting."
Ashlee at New Mama's Nest tells us what she didn't expect about breastfeeding her 'early bird.'
Rixa at The True Face of Birth tells what she didn't expect when she was expecting.
Down with the Kids reflects back on breastfeeding as she weans her son in her post “Goodbye Booby”
Heather at The Spice Choir talks about how breastfeeding changed her social interactions.
Andi at Mama Knows Breast shares her top 10 list of things she didn't expect about breastfeeding.
Jen at The Lactivist tells us how "Nursing isn't quite what I expected."
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
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