WW: I Am Like That Jump Rope

It's been raining here for three days straight.

I drink my coffee, look out onto my deck, and there it is:

Left out from the last day of sunshine by a little girl with small hands and a big desire to jump.

It sits and waits...waits to be dried by the sun....waits to be once again lovingly grasped by the hands of a girl who believes she can jump to the moon.

May she always remain so confident in herself...

5 Minutes For Mom: Wordless Wednesday

WW: I Am Like That Jump Rope

Goddess of Mine

My newest knitting project: Goddess

She is my first completed project on DPN's. The embroidery leaves much to be desired, but somehow for me the imperfections add to her beauty.

She was a joy to knit. I covered her with symbols of birth and the feminine; a spiral for the spiral movement of birth; a moon, for fertility; and the Egyptian Ankh, symbol for life. She is also stuffed with herbs, and smells divine.

She is a gift for a friend, but I think soon I will make another one for myself.

More details can be found on my Ravelry page.

Goddess of Mine

My Joy In The Rain

It's raining on a Monday morning. And I'm tired.

I was also tired last night, so I didn't clean up the kitchen before I went to bed. I guess I had forgotten just how much I hate waking up to a dirty kitchen. Especially on a rainy Monday morning.

I could go on and on with all my grumpy and negative thoughts, but I don't, because I have her.

She wakes up with a smile every morning, no matter what day of the week it is. She wakes up on a rainy, Monday morning and says "yay!", not "blah".

And with all the chaos in our lives right now, I shield my eyes and hide from the rain. But she puts on her rain jacket and literally skips out into it, revels in it, laughs in it.

Dances in it.

So from her, I learn how to dance again...even when it's raining.

My Joy In The Rain

Her Moment

A girl. A book. A day of sunshine.

A moment.

I long to be part of it, to join her in her solitude. But I resist. This is her moment.

You Capture: A Moment.

Her Moment

WW: Brown Eyed Girl

She loves it when I sing "You Are My Sunshine" to her.

I just love looking at her sweet smile and beautiful face.

oh, those eyes!!!!

For more Wordless Wednesday, visit 5 Minutes For Mom.

WW: Brown Eyed Girl

Dizzy

You know those days that you have, where it feels like every ounce of your strength and will power is used just to keep your head above the water?

You get dizzy trying to stay afloat. Dizzy trying to keep your emotions in check, trying to get through the day.

I've had a few dizzy days weeks months that I've somehow managed to tread water through. It's been hard. But I'm still here.

I think at one point every blogger has had to decide how much to share. And we all settle in to our personal comfort zones, which is very varied among bloggers. I had found my comfort zone. But I'm about to expand it, just a little. So here goes:

My marriage is pretty much ending. It is hanging on by a thread.

There, I said it. It's out there now, for you all to see, dear friends. And while I'm not comfortable sharing the details (and they aren't important, anyway) I am comfortable sharing with you how scared I am. And shocked.

And dizzy.

But something else keeps happening, too. I get a call or an email from a friend. I feel the baby kick away happily inside me. I hear the girls' laughter as we get into a paint fight. (I didn't even mind cleaning that mess up). And this dizziness starts to flow away. And I start to look forward, not back.

And I start to hope. And it gets just a little bit easier, to reach for that courage.

Dizzy

Reaching For Courage

I find myself reaching a lot. Reaching to grasp the full miracle of the life inside me. Reaching to understand how my life is going to change.

Reaching for courage.

Because ready or not, this baby will be here in about 8 weeks. And while I am so excited and thrilled, I'm also scared.

Scared that I won't be the best mom to parent three little ones.

Scared about our future, if it will turn out the way we plan.

Scared about other things in my life, that are too personal to blog about but nonetheless keep me up at night.

And so I wear this necklace, to remind me that I have the Courage to be the best that I can be, nothing more, nothing less....I only have to reach for it.

This life inside me fills me with joy. And it is all in my reach.

You Capture: Reaching

Reaching For Courage

Lumps and All

It's our current couch, actually. Passed down to us from our In-Law's, when we got it it had already shown signs of wear.

I put a couch cover on it in an attempt to hide the fact that the fabric is worn and torn, and the middle cushion no longer has functioning springs....so when you sit in the center of the couch, you are immediately swallowed up into its stomach. We have to warn people before they sit down. And despite the cover and the pillows I stuffed into its center, you can still tell that something is not normal about this couch...

I'm a bit like that couch, actually. Showing signs of wear and tear. Having deep places within myself, where I have to keep watch to make sure I, or someone I love, doesn't get swallowed up unknowingly. Like this couch, there is always a child jumping or laying on me, leaving toys on me...the couch's fabric is worn thin from all the "love" its received over the years, and although not as visible, so is my skin.

The cover is pretty, and goes along way with covering up the couch's flaws. But I always enjoy washing the covers, mostly because then for a full day, the couch is allowed to stand naked in its flawed glory...showing off its lumps and tears....showing off its years of love.

Sometimes, I like to take my covers off too.

Writing Challenge: Couches

Lumps and All

Celtic Woman: Songs From The Heart Review

I am constantly on the lookout for great music. So when Child's Play Communications offered me (as a member of Music Moms) a chance to review the CD Celtic Woman: Songs From The Heart, I jumped at the chance!

Not only did I get to review the CD, but I also got a chance to go see Celtic Woman live in Boston at the Wang Theatre!

Listening to the CD, I immediately fell in love with this very talented group, featuring vocalists Lisa Kelly, Chloe Agnew, Lynn Hilary and Alex Sharpe, with very talented violinist, Mairead Nesbitt. So it wasn't very surprising that I was completely blown away watching them perform live. It's no wonder this group has sold more than 3.8 million records in the U.S alone!

I was able to find the PBS Special trailer on YouTube, so to get a taste of how fantastic the show was, take a look:

Not only do I love the modern twist that this talented group puts on traditional music, but I also love that I can listen to it with the girls, guilt-free...no dirty language or materialistic lyrics on this CD, just pure beautiful music.

For more information on this talented group, including bios, blog, and tour dates visit their website.

Celtic Woman: Songs From The Heart Review

Homeschool Update And Suggestions Needed

I haven't really been blogging much about our homeschooling this year, so I thought I would update everyone.

The Mermaid is learning how to read! We are using How To Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons. The book is very structured and scripted, so I wasn't sure if it would work well for us, but The Mermaid loves reading the stories and the scripts make it very easy to teach! So far she is on lesson 33 and is so proud to be reading short stories.

Out of curiosity, I attempted to do a couple of lessons with The Guppy, but she simply wasn't able to sit still and focus enough to get through them. I am surprised however, how much she is picking up simply by listening in the background while The Mermaid and I do a lesson!

I've been a little bit laid back so far this year in terms of math. The Mermaid kept asking if she could learn how to add, and I found a Horizons Math K workbook that I got a while back from a used curriculum sale. She adores math! She insists on doing it independently and having me check her answers after; I simply read the directions and off she goes! It's gotten to the point where we have to save math for last, because if we did it first, she would refuse to stop to do other subjects. She is more than halfway through the workbook.

With The Guppy, I've been doing simple things; learning the letters of the alphabet and the sounds they make, learning how to count, very simple addition, etc. Basically I have one book that we just sit down and read through, as it goes through the alphabet then numbers then shapes and colors, etc. I thought that reading the same book day after day would bore her, but she really enjoys reading her "alphabet book" as she calls it. Afterwards I help her work in her workbook, where we do a lot of matching, connect the dots, sequencing, etc.

We've also just started our first week of Five In A Row. It's only been a week, but so far the girls and I really enjoy it! I plan on writing a review of FIAR soon.

So my question for fellow homeschoolers: I'm looking into history and math curriculum for The Mermaid. She is enjoying the Horizons workbook, but I'm not sure if I want to continue with Horizons or switch to something else. I would love to hear about your favorite math curriculum for K! I'm also interested in getting her a history curriculum. I've heard good things about The Story Of The World and would love to hear from someone who uses it, or tell me what you love about the curriculum you chose!

Homeschool Update And Suggestions Needed

My Quiet

It doesn't come every day, but when it does, it is usually right after breakfast. The girls run off to play on their own, and the kitchen is transformed into my own private sanctuary, my time for finding inspiration in a book, writing in my private journal, or knitting. And always, a cup of tea.

This Quiet feeds my soul. And while most days it lasts longer, on some it is so fleeting and quick, and not a word is written or a stitch stitched before my loves come running back downstairs.

So fleeting, but it is enough. Because after, after there will be art and homeschooling and games and playdates...but these precious moments of Quiet? They are mine and mine alone to treasure.

You Capture: Quiet.

My Quiet

Purr....

It's funny, most people don't even realize we have a cat. She just kind of blends into the background most of the time. I thought today I'd give her the spotlight for once.

She was my cat, originally. I got her when I was a freshmen in high school. She never really became the "family cat" though...just kind of turned into her own independent self.

For more Wordless Wednesday, visit 5 Minutes For Mom.

Purr....

Can I Add Maid To My List?

See that pregnancy ticker over in my sidebar? Yeah, that one.

The one that says we have 9 weeks left. Nine weeks!

Have I even started to prepare? No. So in the next few weeks, I will be busy washing baby clothes, super cleaning the house, and getting after the Knight to bring up the one piece of baby furniture that we will be using.

Oh, and of course, making my list of things I really need for this baby.

You can read more about my list over at MassMoms, where today I am writing about baby registries vs. what moms really need. Would love your comments!

Can I Add Maid To My List?

Hopeful

This life inside me moves, strong kicks and hiccups and heartbeats.

We all wait, eager to get through these last ten quick and crazy weeks...eager to complete our family.

This new life? It fills us with hope.

You Capture: Hopeful

Hopeful

WW: Saving The Best For Last

I don't know where she gets it from (certainly not from me!), but she LOVES doing math.
In fact, we have to save it for last in our day, otherwise she would do math all day and not learn any other subjects.

For more Wordless Wednesday, visit 5 Minutes For Mom.

WW: Saving The Best For Last

Two Sides

Sometimes I feel as though I'm two people trapped in one body.

One person I like. She is a loving, patient mother. Organized. Smart. Activist without judgement. Happy with her life and how everything has turned out. She looks forward to her future, her goals of being debt free, her career goals involving women and babies. She balances everything in her life, so nothing is neglected and yet nothing is utterly consuming. She is so very, very far from being perfect and she is totally okay with that, in fact considers it one of her strengths.

Most days, I think this person shines through. But some days....some days the other person seems to swell up and take over.

I don't like this other person. She scares me. She is impatient with the girls, yells at them. Slings insults at The Knight like rocks. Neglects important things in her day. Judges others without really knowing the full story. Moans and complains about her life, wishes things were different, then does nothing to change the things she doesn't like. She's insecure, and a little paranoid.

98% of the time, this person lies dormant inside me and causes no harm. But lately, for whatever reason, she's been coming up more than I would like. I'm not sure why, although The Knight has suggested that it is related to pregnancy hormones. Who knows.

I'm okay with this other person existing. She puts things in perspective for me. But I'm not okay with her coming up so often.

It does make me wonder, though, if I am alone in this. If there are two sides to everyone, maybe one that everyone tries to keep down and hidden. I think of it whenever a complete stranger is rude to me or my children, or some "idiot" cuts me off on the road and almost causes us to crash...yes, this person was a jerk to me in that moment...but should that define that person? Or is there another side?

Maybe everyone really does deserve a second chance?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this...

Two Sides

Pull Towards Simplicity...

The Knight and I like to simplify our lives. We're working towards our goal of becoming debt free, and we try to keep our consumer needs to a minimum.

However, there is a slight division in our dreams once we talk about the point in which all of our debt is paid off and we buy our next house.

The Knight wants a "big" house, with a large backyard, one that is close to other people and conveniences.

But if it were up to me....well, I'd be raising the kids in the bush, off the grid, and living in a yurt.

Like this family.

The pictures are amazing...the lifestyle so inspiring. But, The Knight would never go for it, not in a million years. So I will just have to work on talking him down from buying a large house, and instead buying one only large enough for our needs.

I'm curious to hear your thoughts - what do you think about living in a yurt?

Pull Towards Simplicity...