Disney on Ice Winner!

So I know I am two days late with this, but it's that hectic time of year again!!

The winner of the family four pack of tickets to Disney on Ice, chosen by a random number generator, is.....

Jennifer O'Donoghue! Congrats!! I'll be messaging you with more details.

Thanks to everyone who entered!!

Disney on Ice Winner!

Thursday Musings

It's nine days until Christmas and for once, I'm almost ready. This is a far cry from the usual Christmas Eve scramble to get the rest of the gifts and wrap them up. This year, I am determined to not be awake until 1AM on Christmas Eve, wrapping presents at the very last minute.

The other day I heard the girls talking in the living room about Christmas. The Mermaid said "You know what I like best about presents? Spending time with family! That's the best part!" To which The Guppy replied, "I just like the presents!" These girls are too funny, and so different!!

The Tadpole has been nursing like crazy. This is because his molars are coming in, and they are taking their sweet time, thank-you-very-much. I feel bad for him and I do love nursing him so, but it's a relief when I get to leave the house without him in tow, just to get a break.

How are you all doing? Are you prepared for the Holidays?

Thursday Musings

The Final Frontier

This year in science The Mermaid is studying astronomy. She was so excited when her book came in!! This is a drawing of our solar system that she did on her own, without any prompting from me.  I love how creative she is, and how she loves to draw!

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday


Have you entered my giveaway for a family pack of tickets to see Disney on Ice?

The Final Frontier

Holiday Pageant

On Sunday our church had their annual Holiday Pageant. The Mermaid was an angel and The Guppy was in the jingle bell choir.

 The Tadpole was a great audience, as usual. He's so laid back and calm, we can take him anywhere. He smiled and laughed through the whole performance.

I'm so proud of my two stars!!!

Holiday Pageant

Thanks Mom!

My mother took me shopping Friday night for an early Christmas present...new running shoes!!!

My old shoes were over three years old and the cushioning was completely shot. I had been having problems with sore knees and back when running lately and I'm sure that my shoes were the problem. These shoes are the new Asics 2170 and I can't wait to try them out tomorrow, a nice easy 3 mile run! Seventy-six days left before the half-marathon in February!!!

If there are any other runners out there on dailymile, please feel free to "friend" me.

Thanks Mom!

Ballerina

 The Guppy has her second dance recital on Sunday, a Holiday themed recital. Her class danced to the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause."

 Before the show, I asked her if she was nervous and she said no, because if she forgot the steps she could just look and see what the other kids were doing. I love how she likes being on stage so much!

 My beautiful ballerina. I'm so proud of her!

Ballerina

Stolen Secret Moment.

I took this on Thanksgiving Day.

Is The Guppy sharing a secret or giving The Mermaid a kiss? I can't remember, but either way, I love this picture.

I braided both their hair the same way and they laughed and said, "We're twins!"

Wordless Wednesday

Stolen Secret Moment.

Ball!!

 "Ball!" he says, grinning. It's his newest word, and the ball is his favorite toy.

 I'm relieved he likes playing with a ball, instead of one of the plastic and loud toys that lay dusty and forgotten under the train table.

 He throws it over his head and laughs when it lands behind him.

 He gathers up all the balls on the deck and throws them over the railing. The Mermaid goes down into the yard to get them for him, each time telling him "This is the last time, Tadpole, so don't throw them over again, I won't get them for you." We all know he'll throw them over, and when he does, she'll laugh and run down to get them again.

I watch the three of them bounce and laugh and giggle, and I think about how lucky I am. And how Life Is Good.

Ball!!

Giveaway! Disney on Ice!

It's that wonderful yet sometimes stressful time of year again. And for Disney to come give us a break from it all with a night of great entertainment!

This will be, I believe, our third Disney on Ice show and it never gets old. The girls LOVE the show, and I'm looking forward to getting The Tadpole's reaction too, now that he's old enough.

"Discover endless riches when Disney on Ice presents Treasure Trove! Get tangle up in Disney's 50th animated feature with Rapunzel and Flynn, then enter the worlds of Tiana, Cinderella, Jasmine, Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, Mulan, and Snow White. Set sail with Peter Pan, Tinker Bell and Captain Hook & his pirate pals on an adventure beyond Netherland! Trek the wilds of Africa with Simba, Nala, Pumbaa and Timon. And don't be late to a very important date with Alice & the Madhatter as they march with the Queen of Heart's Army of Cards. Be sure to see this show full of memories guaranteed to last a lifetime."

Opening night is December 26th, and we can't wait to tell the girls on Christmas where we will be doing the next day!

GIVEAWAY!!!!


I'm giving away a family four-pack to the 7PM performance on Monday, December 26th at the TD Garden in Boston. To enter, just leave a comment telling me which Disney character is your favorite! The lucky winner will be randomly chosen on Friday, December 16th. Good luck!

Giveaway! Disney on Ice!

Just Saying.

Just coming on here to say that I've been really busy. In a good way.

And...my kids are totally awesome.

Have a great Thursday everyone.

Just Saying.

No Wasted Time

My client had her beautiful baby girl on Nov. 5th.

I missed the birth.

She called me at 9:35PM and told me her water had just broken. I asked if she was having any contractions and she said she wasn't, but that she was feeling a little uncomfortable and was going to head into the hospital to get her antibiotics for Group B, would I mind meeting her there? Not a problem.

I called my mom to come watch the kids. I kind of took my time. I mean, she wasn't even having contractions yet, right? I ate before I left, thinking that it was going to be a long labor and I needed to fuel up.

I drove to the hospital and walked in her room at 11PM. Right as they were placing the baby on her chest! Total labor from rupture of membranes to birth was 1.5 hours! She did awesome, and of course baby is beautiful!

I'm also working with a postpartum client right now, starting today. I worked with this lovely family previously when their baby was first born, and now they have called me back for a few more days.

I'm spending this month really working on expanding my business. I'd like to eventually get up to two clients a month. We'll see how it goes!

No Wasted Time

Dusting This Thing Off

I haven't really been around here much. Life has been so busy! I'm homeschooling two now, and still trying to figure out the logistics of that. Plus The Tadpole is certainly keeping me busy!

I've also been spending all my free time studying. I'm applying for a nursing program. I'm going to become an LPN so I can qualify for the IBCLC exam in 2014. The program I am applying to only accepts 30 students out of the 200 that apply. I'm taking the TEAS V exam on Saturday and I need to do well!

I could always just take the college courses required to qualify for the exam without going through nursing school, but I figured if I have to take that many courses anyway I might as well get some credentials to go along with it. That way I could also get a nursing job as well, or go back for the bridge program to become an RN.

Doula business is doing well. I'm on call now for a client due in November. I still don't have as many clients as I would like to have, but this year I've had more than I've ever had in one year.

That's about it over here. Hopefully this blog won't be so neglected now!

Dusting This Thing Off

Till My Legs Give Out

This past weekend I ran my second 10K. It was the Devil's Chase in Salem, MA, and it was actually a little longer than 10K, 6.66 miles (get it, 666? yukka yukka).

My first 10K I ran in September, the 5th Annual Lone Gull. I was still only about halfway through the Couch to 5K program and had only run three miles at the most. It was HARD and I walked a lot of the course but I managed to finish. Boy was I sore!

After Lone Gull I finished the Couch to 5K and immediately started a 10K training program. I finished that just in time for Devil's Chase. Boy what a difference between the two races! I ran (slowly) the entire 6.66 miles and beat my Lone Gull time by 6 minutes!

Devil's Chase was a blast to run. It was freezing but once I started running I warmed up quick. I did not run in costume, but everyone else did and it was so fun to see how creative people got! Next year I will be sure to run in costume.

I'm now starting a half-marathon training program. I'm thinking of running one in February. In May, I'll be running the Run For Your Lives 5K Obstacle Course. I'm really excited, I think it's going to be a blast.

Can you tell I'm addicted to running?

Here I am, right after finishing Devil's Chase:

Till My Legs Give Out

Sweet

My dearest Guppy,

Just like your sister's letter, this one is embarrassingly late. So sorry, my sweetheart.

You are now five years old. And still a total sweetheart. You love to cuddle and hug, you love praise and affection. You get so upset if you even suspect that someone might be upset with you.

We've officially started homeschooling. You're learning reading, writing, and soon we'll be starting math. History and science you are learning just by listening to The Mermaid's lessons in the background. I didn't realize this until you started blurting out the answers to the questions I was asking her.

You still love playing dress up, and being a princess. You are so girly, I love it!! If it has bows, ribbons, or ruffles you must have it. You love dance class, and I love watching you blossom on your own, in the one activity that you don't share with your sister.

You are so sweet to your little brother, although sometimes you do lose patience with him. I think you want him to stay a baby more than I do, so you can keep "mothering" him like a newborn. Since The Tadpole has become less cooperative, you've started to mother your dolls more, putting them down for naps and nursing them when they are hungry.

You crave alone time with me or your father. It doesn't matter if we are just brushing your hair or your teeth in the bathroom, you beam and light up. I'm sorry we don't get more chances to have alone time, my love.

You're not shy, but you are an introvert. Having time to yourself is simply how you re-charge your batteries. So different from your sister!

We love you so much, our little sweetheart, and we are so lucky to have you in our lives. Happy Birthday.

Sweet

You Are So Much More

My Dearest Mermaid,

This birthday post is so late it is incredibly embarrassing. Over a month late. So sorry, love.

Seven years old. Wow. Or, as you pointed out, "Only three away from 10." But I still have some time before I have to think about how you are in the double digits, so please don't rush me, my dear.

You are definitely my sassy child. Always independent, you have a hard time understanding that just because you are able to do something, doesn't mean you should.

You are loving school. Math is your favorite subject, and strongest. You are still struggling with reading, but you are doing much better. You're like me - impatient, and easily frustrated when you can't read a word quickly, not wanting to stop and take the time to sound it out.

You're fearless. I love seeing your determination and confidence. There isn't anything you can't do. You take risks that make me shake my head and make my heart skip beats. I try to walk the line between keeping you safe and allowing you to explore and remain confident in your abilities. It's a tough line to walk, and you get frustrated with me often. The words "Why not?" and "Don't worry, Mom!" are heard quite frequently in this house.

You're so incredibly social. There isn't anyone you won't talk to, and invite into your life. Again, I struggle between keeping you safe yet not creating fear of the world within you. We've had so many conversations about talking to strangers, and talking to people in general. My love, people do not need to hear about every detail of your life. You have a hard time understanding that. And with your confidence, you are having a hard time catching on to the fact that you will not be friends with everyone you meet. When the neighborhood boy stopped asking you to come over to play, you couldn't understand why. Neither could I. Except that some people are just too different to be friends. But my heart broke as I tried to field questions for WEEKS on why you couldn't go over and play. Another tough line to walk.

You are amazingly helpful. You are such a great older sister to your brother, helping to get him dressed in the morning, playing with him, comforting him when he gets upset. You make me so proud. You help out around the house so much, no questions asked, and because you are absolutely determined to own your very own American Girl Doll, you are always asking to do extra chores for money. You have $16 left to go before you can buy that doll.

You're bright, funny, happy, and a match for me in sarcasm. You keep me on my toes. You forgive easily and don't hold grudges - I'm thankful you didn't inherit that flaw from me. You love to sing and you love to learn new things.

And I am so incredibly lucky to have you as a daughter.

Happy (Belated) Birthday, my Mermaid. I love you so much.

You Are So Much More

That's Better

So far this morning is turning out better then yesterday.

Actually the whole day was tough until I started reading people's stories over at We Are The 99 Percent. Really puts things into perspective.

Also, I got my morning run in today, and that always helps cheer me up.

I'm also over at MassMoms today, talking about easy tips for writing a birth plan.

Have a great Tuesday!

That's Better

How to Know If You Really Want Kids

Think you want to have kids? Think again.

Monday mornings are tough, but the Monday coming back from vacation is always harder. I specifically went to bed early because I knew I would have to do a lot of post-vacation clean up around the house.

The Tadpole took forever to go to sleep. And then he kept waking up. Over and over again, all night long. I tried nursing him, cuddling him, rocking him. I took of his pj's in case he was too warm, changed his diaper, but whatever was bothering him did not stop. I got literally one hour of sleep, from 5:30 to 6:30AM.

I missed my morning run. I hate missing my morning run.

I heard The Knight get out of the shower at 6:30AM. I heard him come into the bedroom and I heard him say to me, "Do you know Tadpole is naked?" I grunted in response. He poked my back and I opened one extremely heavy, crusty eyelid to glare at him. It was enough to wipe the smile of his face and I closed my eyes again.

Then I heard him say, "I smell poop..."

I sat up slowly and looked around. And then I saw it. The Tadpole had taken off his diaper, pooped on the rug, stepped on it, and tracked it all over the entire second floor. Including the WHITE rug in the hallway and the girls' room. THEN he apparently played with it and rubbed it all over himself.

The Knight cleaned The Tadpole up while I attacked the rugs, swearing under my breath the entire time. I went into the girls room and started the clean up in there.

While scrubbing the rug, I looked up and saw that they had taken an entire box of maxi pads and stuck them to the bedroom walls.


*1....2....3...4...5....6...7....8...9...10* DEEP BREATH.

"Girls why did you do this?"
"We wanted to make a carpet on the wall."

Of course we found out when we started to take them down that the sticky layer does not come off unless it takes some of the paint with it.

DEEP BREATH.

Meanwhile, the Knight had finished cleaning The Tadpole up and left for work, smirking at me as he walked out the door. F*cker. I want to go to work at a place where the co workers don't sh*t all over the house!!

DEEP BREATH

I'm finishing up the rug cleaning when The Mermaid tells me that she'll take The Tadpole downstairs and start breakfast. Which she has done many times before. I smile gratefully at her, thank her, and tell her I'll be down in a minute. I finish the rug, scrub my hands until they are red wash my hands, and go downstairs where I'm greeted by the sight of literally half a box of cereal all over the kitchen floor. Not the usual amount of cereal that most parents are stepping on, I'm talking literally half a box.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!?"
"Oh, well, Tadpole asked for the box and I gave it to him and he dumped it out."

Another cleanup. Now I'm sitting here, typing this while staring at the coffee maker, willing it to drip faster.

It is only 8:45 in the morning.

Sadly, this day is not all that unusual. If you read this and still want kids, congrats. You're going to make a great parent. And you can have mine, all three if you want.

How to Know If You Really Want Kids

One Tiny Minute.

The living room is a mess and ingredients and dishes from lunch are still spread out all over the counter but I'm sitting down here anyway because I need just one tiny minute before I can face that mess.

The TV is on and the girls are watching one show because they promised they would watch quietly and not ask me any questions.

I just put the Tadpole down for his nap, finally. He has this terrible rash so I've been letting him run around naked all morning, trying to let his sore bum air out. The rash combined with his teething has left him a very cranky baby, and I sighed with relief when I laid him down on the bed and kissed his sweet little forehead. (A forehead that is no longer covered by wispy, soft golden curls because I accidentally had the barber cut his hair WAY too short. It's growing on me but I cried the first day because there was a little boy standing where my baby used to be and that's not fair!).

I still have to pick up the house, do the laundry, finish the Mermaid's schooling, and then run to the store because I forgot to buy fish food again! Maybe one day I will own a Prius and I won't hate running to the store for such little things but now in my van I feel guilty every time I have to make extra trips due to my forgetfulness.

The Earth is sick, and we have to do what we can to make her better I always tell the girls, then tell myself I will write "Don't forget fish food" on my hand in permanent marker next time, if that's what it takes.

It's rainy and cloudy and this type of weather always makes me be too hard on myself.

My one tiny minute has now turned into 15. We'll finish up schooling but maybe instead of cleaning we'll put on rain jackets and rain boots and go splash in puddles.

And embrace this rainy weather, for once.

Just Write

One Tiny Minute.

Bit by the Running Bug!

Yesterday I ran the 5th Annual Lone Gull 10K.

One year ago, I was almost 50lbs heavier and could not walk up the stairs without getting out of breath. If you had told me back then that in one year I would be almost 50lbs lighter and run a 10K, I would have laughed.

I think it's just hitting me now that I actually ran a 10K! Granted I did not run the entire time but I ran a good portion of it, and I finished. That was my goal, just to finish.

The course was absolutely gorgeous, it was by the ocean and the views on the beach were wonderful! I ran it with a friend, so it really was a lot of fun! My legs are so sore but it was really worth it!

I'm hooked :) I'm finishing up my training with Couch to 5K, and then will do a 10K program and then 1/2 marathon, then marathon, etc.

I can't wait for my next race!

Bit by the Running Bug!

This Could Easily Become An Addiction.

On Sunday I am running my first race, a 10K. My friend somehow convinced me to sign up even though the most I've ever run is 3 miles.

I should do ok, right?

It's by the ocean, so it's not a bad place to perish if I end up dying by the side of the road.

And to show you how hilarious I think the idea of me running a race is, from my FB page:

• • E posted toShelly

    I'm going to cheer you on with inspirational phrases throughout the race on Sunday. For example: Sweating is your body crying and begging you to stop.

    · · See Friendship · 21 hours ago

    • You, S, J, L and 2 others like this.
    • • 

        Shelly Or, "Run like hell and get the agony over with."
      • 
        E Oh sh!t there's a tiger behind us! Don't look!

        20 hours ago · · 1 person
      • 

        Shelly Run till you puke!

        
        
      • E Or, puke first and run second.

        20 hour ago · · 1 person
      • 

        Shelly Enjoy your pain, you've earned it.
      • 
        
      • 

        Shelly Distance chicks do it long and hard. We need a shirt that says that.

What are your favorite songs to run to? Or favorite inspirational quotes?

This Could Easily Become An Addiction.

Punched

This week I....

...got my nose pierced. It's something that I've been wanting to do for a long time. And yes, it hurt. Not so much when it was pierced, but afterwards. I felt like I had gotten punched in the face.

...got my nose ring ripped out by The Tadpole. That hurt. But not as much as pushing it back in. That hurt worse.

...am still happy that I got my nose pierced.

...also went through a hurricane (tropical storm?) We did not get hit badly at all, we didn't even lose power. But a lot of people around us did.

...got annoyed by all the people on Facebook putting updates that said things like "What a dud Irene was" or "Irene wasn't a big deal." Listen, maybe Irene wasn't a big deal for you but it was big enough to kill 23 people and flood parts of NY and NJ.

What did you do this week?

Punched

Gorgeous Day

It is GORGEOUS out today! Not too hot, not too cold.

We've been spending all day outside. Weeding the garden, planting the fall crops, enjoying the sunshine.

Meanwhile, I'm over at MassMoms with Five Tips for a Natural Childbirth. Feel free to check it out and comment!

Gorgeous Day

Priorities

"Look Mommy! It's a plane!" the Mermaid shouts, pointing up to the sky and jumping with excitement.

"What? Oh, yeah. Great." I say, while scrubbing the counters.

"Look Mommy! It's a butterfly!" says the Guppy, skipping across the grass.

"Hmmm" I say, not even looking up from sweeping.

I sweep and scrub and sweep some more, and it still looks like no cleaning has been done at the end of the day. And that is just life with three small children.

But I wonder, at what point did a spotless counter become more important than sharing with my child the joy of observing a butterfly fly across the yard? Or the wonder of watching a FLYING machine cross the sky?

And why

am I still holding this broom

instead of their hands, as we run across the grass?

Because in the end, we are all stepping on cereal. But...so what?

Priorities

Down in Words

So I haven't really been around here as much as I used to. The publish button is looking mighty dusty and dingy, in fact.

Part of it is because I've started to turn off the computer during the day. I didn't want to be just home with my children; I wanted to be present with them as well. That means less time to read other blogs, tweet (my poor twitter account is neglected!) and write.

Part of it is because I've been busy. I'm trying to finish up my CBE Educator training, and really get started on my herbalist training. Add on to that the housework, the homeschooling, and the hanging out with my kids and there's not that much time left in the day.

And part of it is because I haven't really had much to say. I feel like our lives have settled into this wonderful routine. I'm peaceful. Happy. There's nothing really exciting going on right now in my life, and that's ok. I'm fine with the simple things, and there's only so much you can write about that.

I've thought about what form I want this blog to take in my life. I found myself wondering if I should stop posting in it. I haven't had the time or energy. But, I decided to keep it. I LOVE writing. I'm not good at it all all, and I don't try to make money from it, but I still love it. And seeing as I never filled out the baby books for any of my kids...well, this is their baby book. I write them their age letters here. I want them to one day be able to look back on this blog and get a glimpse of what things were like.

So, the blog stays. I can't promise it will always be interesting, or even updated. But I'm always here. Writing when I can.

Getting this fabulous life down in words.

Down in Words

Babyzilla Attacks!

Once upon a time, there was a peaceful village, nestled in a quiet and sunny valley. The people there lived simple lives, working in their farms, waiting for the next train to come to town, etc. Until.....

BABYZILLA!!

Babyzilla attacked without warning on sunny day, and completely destroyed the town!!! And unfortunately for those poor people, every attempt to rebuild the town is thwarted by Babyzilla, as he attacks again and again.

This kid climbs EVERYTHING! And he gets into everything. We now have to keep the dishwasher and stove locked, and we'll be putting up a baby gate to keep him out of the kitchen while I am cooking because he reaches up and grabs everything he can! The Mermaid and The Guppy were never this bad with getting into things. He has a much more adventurous and curious personality than they do!

Waiting for daddy to come home.

But what can I say? I love this kid. He makes us laugh every day. He's starting to talk, waves, gives kisses, and chases me around the house yelling "MAMA! NA-NAS! NA-NAS MAMA! NA-NAS!"

It drives me crazy. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Babyzilla Attacks!

Lessons Learned From Breastfeeding

The Tadpole has been nursing a lot less than he used to, but still more than enough to keep us both happy and connected. He always looks directly into my eyes when he nurses. And of course, because he is a *gasp* toddler now, he often tries to do flips and turns on my lap while he nurses as well.

I remember almost eight years go, talking with my hair dresser while she cut my hair and talking with her about my pregnancy. She asked me if I was going to breastfeed and I responded with, "Well I haven't really thought of it." So she walked out of the room and came back in with a copy of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding for me to borrow. I took it home and I read it. And then I read it again. And I knew that I was going to breastfeed.

When The Mermaid was born I didn't have any pain when I nursed. She was long and skinny and healthy. We had a small speed bump in the beginning when she wasn't gaining weight fast enough but one quick call to La Leche League and I was given a suggestion that worked like a charm. She went on to nurse until she was 22 months old, when she self-weaned after I got pregnant with The Guppy.

When The Guppy was born I guess I was expecting it to be as easy as it was with The Mermaid. It wasn't. Her latch was shallow and it took a couple of weeks to fix, in the meantime I was in a lot of pain. But I knew it would work itself out if I kept correcting her latch and by six weeks postpartum things were great. The Guppy was the opposite of The Mermaid: short and chubby! I look at pictures of her as a newborn and wonder how she got so chubby, just on mama's milk! Six weeks postpartum was also when I went to my first LLL meeting. The Guppy nursed until she was over two years old, and weaned when I got pregnant with Kalei.

Finally The Tadpole was born. The birth was fantastic but boy did the postpartum suck!! He was born with a slightly recessed chin and had a shallow latch. He also was a sparkler and demanded to be held/on the boob all. the. time. I was in terrible pain and came down with a nasty case of mastitis. At the time I was a single mother, so I was doing it all by myself. I ended up taking him off one side and just pumping until the tissue healed and just worked on his latch and waited for him to get bigger and his chin to pop out a little more. The issues we had were finally resolved and I have never been so glad and relieved that I stuck with it. The Tadpole taught me so much about patience and perseverance those first few weeks, and I am grateful for receiving those lessons.

The Tadpole is 13 months old now and although he is nursing less and does not nurse to sleep, I don't think he is showing any signs of wanting to stop. And that's fine. He's our last child, so I am going to let him go as long as he wants and enjoy it while it lasts. This is the last part of the chapter in my life where I am able to solve all boo-boos and upset feelings with a nursing session; or not worry as much when a stomach virus hits, because he'll be able to keep down breastmilk; or not worry so much when he has a day when he doesn't eat as healthy or as much, because breastmilk provides him with all his needs.

He comes up to me and signs the word for milk, tilts his head to the side and says "Na-nas?" And I scoop him up and kiss his head and he latches on. And he looks at me and I look at him, and even though we aren't speaking we are having our own private conversation about love and comfort and security.

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

Lessons Learned From Breastfeeding

Purging Party

We have a finished basement that became an office when we moved in three years ago. Unfortunately, it isn't heated and we don't use it in the winter. And because it's not being used, all winter long we start throwing stuff in the room that we don't have a place for at that moment so that we can "deal with it later." And by spring, the office has become so overwhelmed with clutter and stuff that it is scary to go in there.

Usually we take a weekend and clean it out in the spring. It's something I kind of look forward to - purging a bunch of junk can be so refreshing. But now, we are halfway through summer and it's been sooo crazy we haven't been able to get to it yet. And The Knight and I keep saying to each other "We really need to clean out the basement." Yet it still hasn't happened.

The line was finally crossed when I noticed that the clutter was starting to climb up the stairs. Like it was alive, and slowly inching its way up to attack the rest of the house.

Oh no, I will NOT tolerate that crap.

So kind-of-tentative plans have been made to go on a purging spree Saturday morning. And we're even making plans on downsizing our office to the bare minimum and turning most of the room into a playroom. Which means I will be able to move a bunch of the kids' larger toys down there and out of sight. And they will go down there to play, instead of jumping on my couch a gazillion times a day so that I keep having to readjust the couch covers while muttering under my breath something about wanting to throw the couches out the window.

For those who have a playroom - any tips on keeping it organized?

Purging Party

Misunderstood

The Guppy says that Cinderella is her favorite princess.

I feel like every time I mention that the girls love Cinderella, I get comments on how bad that story is. How it teaches girls to be docile and wait for a man to rescue them. Maybe. But I don't see the harm in believing in true love. And we balance it out with stories about other true heroines.

I always wonder about the step-sisters. What's their side to the story? Sure, they were cruel to Cinderella, but had they learned anything else growing up? Where is their father, did he die too? What was it like for them to grow up with such a bitter, lonely mother? Knowing that for them, their only escape to a better life was by capturing a man's heart?

It seems Cinderella was not the only victim in the story. The step-sisters were so desperate to make the shoe fit, they cut off their fricking heels. They willingly disfigured themselves for a chance to escape.

They must have been feeling pretty trapped, too.

For me, Cinderella is an reminder to look closer at people, and to see where they are coming from. A reminder to try to be more compassionate and understanding.

And that's why we like Cinderella so much.

Misunderstood

I Wish I Had Known These Things

My dearest children,

I want you to know that everyone makes mistakes, and that I will always love you. Always.
I want you to know what it is like to hold your child for the first time, and feel that unconditional love wash over you as you realize that you would do anything to keep your baby from harm.
I want you to know that no matter how far you travel, how distant you become, you all will always have a home to come back to. To reconnect, to visit, to remember that there is nothing quite like the love and support of your siblings.
I want you to know that nothing is guaranteed in life. There is no golden ticket. There will be hardships and obstacles that you will have to face. But, as they are climbing those hills and scaling those mountains, turn your face to the sunshine and reflect upon the strength that these experiences will give you.

I want you to know that you were born perfect just the way you are. You were born already equipped with everything you need to accomplish whatever you want in life. Don't compromise your character; don't let anyone tell you that you are not enough. Love yourself, and know your worth.

Love,

Mom.

I Wish I Had Known These Things

Seven Years Is A Long Time

A few months ago I won a one-night stay at a local hotel. This weekend, The Knight and I decided to take advantage of it.

Of course, that meant leaving The Tadpole overnight for the first time. I've been called to births in the middle of the night, but never have I left him for an entire day, night, then another day.

But, I felt that he was ready. He never really fusses when I'm gone. And, he doesn't nurse to sleep, unlike both The Mermaid and The Guppy did at his age.

So, we left all three kids with my IL's and went on our way. It was great. We visited all the local historical sites, which was fun for us because we are both history buffs. We went out to eat, did some window shopping, and relaxed while reading books by the hotel's pool.

And the best part was that I slept through the night completely for the first time in SEVEN YEARS!

We headed back around lunch time the next day to pick up the kids and when The Tadpole saw us come in....he turned and ran the other way, upset about having to leave.

I guess he was ready, after all.

And this is something The Knight and I are going to have to do more often.

How was your weekend?

Seven Years Is A Long Time

Summer

We spend a lot of time in the car.

We go to the art museum, the Ecotarium, Broad Meadow Brook Conservation Center, and the splash pad. We have family passes for all three.

We turn off the air conditioner and roll down the windows and sing along to The Wiggles CD at the top of our lungs. Sometimes it might be A Duck In New York City by Connie Kaldor, or a CD from the library, but mostly it's The Wiggles.

We walk quickly through the art museum, the girls stopping for an extra minute in front of their favorite paintings. We meet animals at the Ecotarium and hike at Broad Meadow Brook.

We go to the splash pad and the girls shriek as the water pours down on them. The Tadpole peers down at a small fountain when the water stops for a moment, then it suddenly comes shooting out again and sprays him in the face. I cringe and tense, waiting for his cry, but he just blinks and laughs.

Then we come home, tidy the house and harvest fresh vegetables from the garden for dinner. We sit outside on our deck, laughing and talking and I am amazed at least once a night by something my kids says to me. They are so insightful sometimes!

Before we know it, it's bedtime and as I tuck the girls in The Guppy asks Can we do this again tomorrow?

Absolutely.

Summer

It Matters

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does. ~ William James

Lately it's been the same day after day after day.

Cleaning the house so it can be messy again, never managing to completely keep up with the laundry.

The same old errands, same chores, same emails, everything the same.

It makes me wonder why I'm doing all this, especially when the kids aren't listening and the house is trashed (again!) and I got nothing done all week despite the fact that I was running around like crazy.

And I wonder, What is the fricking point? Why does any of this matter?

And sometimes even, I don't matter.

That feeling of having a life full of purpose, of making a difference, starts to slip away.

Then The Mermaid brings me a card that she made herself. The Guppy asks me to sing her a song.

And The Tadpole wakes up from his nap crying (nightmare?) and toddles over to me. I hug him for what seems like the longest, loveliest hug ever, and listen to his sweet breathing in my ear.

The he pulls away and beams at me.

And it hits me: To them, I matter.

And behind my children's smiles, their yearning eyes, their outstretched hands, I hear it echoing to the beat of my heart...

...it matters...it matters...it matters...

It might not be a glamorous and exciting life. But it's mine, and I love it.

It Matters

I Am From

I am from sidewalk chalk, hopscotch in the driveway, and a perfect climbing tree.

I am from the smell of hay and leather, the nickering of horses, their soft whiskery noses.

I am from the house in the woods, the slapping of mosquitoes,

skating on the lake and swimming through the lily pads.

I am from scary stories by candlelight, s'mores toasted in the fire place,

spaghetti dinners and omelet breakfasts, all around our large kitchen table.

I am from bunk beds, you stay on your side of the room, and never telling

how I missed the late night giggling later in life.

I am from Because I said so, and I love you more, and

Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day.

I am from You can be anything you want and you're going to be someone special

and wishing I was someone special already.

I am from pointless and resentful church mornings

From two families trying to blend into one,

From always getting right back on the horse after falling off.

I am from Hamburger Helper, too many pixie sticks, and breaded pork chops.

From being at horse camp and missing my mother,

From wearing head gear at night with braces,

From Grandma singing Peter Bunny Cottontail, and then

Not recognizing who Cancer made her become.

I am from photo albums with missing covers, family trunks in my grandmother's attic,

The family history written out meticulously in her round, careful handwriting.

I am from old notes from friends, concert tickets in scrapbooks,

And the footprints of a son who lives only in my heart.

I am from Manketvitch women, strong bond between sisters and cousins.

I am from a confident young girl,

And now wonder, where did that confidence go?

And how do I

Get

It

Back?

I Am From meme.

Idea from Adventures in Babywearing.

I Am From

Peaceful

I'm sitting here drinking my coffee and looking out my slider door at my garden.

It's pretty peaceful here, this morning.

The Tadpole is taking his morning nap. Upstairs, the girls are dancing and singing along to a Christmas CD while they pick up their room. This means that they will take three times as long to clean it up, but for now I let them dance and giggle together.

The Mermaid woke up extra early this morning and decided to make a card for me with glitter. I normally keep the glitter on top of the fridge, but she somehow climbed up and got it. The table is covered with glitter, the floor is covered, and because The Tadpole crawled through it and is now sleeping on my bed, both he and my bed are covered in it as well.

Glitter is the herpes of the craft world: once you get it, you can never quite get rid of it.

But, oh well. The floor looks sparkly and pretty at the moment, and there will be plenty of time to sweep it up later.

I've been thinking a lot lately on working on my interactions with The Mermaid. I feel as though we are constantly butting heads and having battles. There is lots of attitude in that girl, she's like at 16 year-old trapped in a 6 year-old body.

About a year ago a dear friend referred to The Mermaid's behavior as "good leadership skills." I really liked that perspective and it has definitely become my mantra that I chant when I am especially exasperated with her. And yesterday, another dear friend posted this link on my FB wall.

Leadership skills...leadership skills...

Yesterday was rough, for both of us. But today is a new day. Right?

Peaceful

Garden Geek

It's been raining a lot here lately, but I'm not complaining. It's refreshing. And, my garden loves it.

The Knight teases me because the girls have started to refer to the garden as "Mommy's outside babies." I guess I am a little attached to it. I go out every morning to say good morning and check on the plants, and again in the afternoon. I take lots of pictures of it. And when I'm outside playing with the kids, it is not unusual to hear me talk to the plants.

Oh well. I'm just so thrilled to have finally been able to grow something, I'm am completely geeking out over it. I'm already trying to see if there is a way to expand the garden next year. Plus, I can't believe how incredibly easy it has been! Square foot gardening is definitely the way to go; I've had to weed the garden only twice now, and it took about five minutes to do. Super quick and easy.

I've got plenty of fresh green in my fridge and my spinach is coming up nicely. The onions and carrots are getting bigger, and the broccoli plants are huge!

How is your garden doing so far? What is your favorite vegetable to grow?

Garden Geek

Tell Me A Lie

Things have gotten overwhelming. I've sadly had to take a few things off my plate.

But still, this feeling of being overwhelmed just won't go away.

I need to find some balance. I need to know that I won't always be stretched this thin.

Dammit, I just need to be able to go to the bathroom without having three kids desperately bang on the door the entire time I'm in there.

Does it get easier? As the kids get older, do they become less dependent, less needy of every minute of every day?

Just tell me it does. Even if it doesn't. It's okay, I want you to lie to me.

Tell Me A Lie

Dancing Queen

Yesterday The Guppy was in her first dance recital. She did both a ballet number and a tap number.

I was worried that she would be nervous, but I was wrong. She LOVED being on stage!! She loved the attention and being in the spotlight and is already begging for more dance classes. I think she has been bit by the dancing bug.
The Mermaid was such a good audience, cheering her on and talking about how she is so proud of her little sister!
The lighting was terrible, the pictures came out horrible. But she is the one in the middle. This was her tap number.
She's the one standing straight with her arms raised. Her ballet number.
She was so impossibly cute. I almost passed out from all the cuteness.

Dancing Queen