Lately it's been the same day after day after day.
Cleaning the house so it can be messy again, never managing to completely keep up with the laundry.
The same old errands, same chores, same emails, everything the same.
It makes me wonder why I'm doing all this, especially when the kids aren't listening and the house is trashed (again!) and I got nothing done all week despite the fact that I was running around like crazy.
And I wonder, What is the fricking point? Why does any of this matter?
And sometimes even, I don't matter.
That feeling of having a life full of purpose, of making a difference, starts to slip away.
Then The Mermaid brings me a card that she made herself. The Guppy asks me to sing her a song.
And The Tadpole wakes up from his nap crying (nightmare?) and toddles over to me. I hug him for what seems like the longest, loveliest hug ever, and listen to his sweet breathing in my ear.
The he pulls away and beams at me.
And it hits me: To them, I matter.
And behind my children's smiles, their yearning eyes, their outstretched hands, I hear it echoing to the beat of my heart...
...it matters...it matters...it matters...
It might not be a glamorous and exciting life. But it's mine, and I love it.
4 comments:
I know what you are saying!!! It is our vocation as mothers but it isn't easy!! Boy is it hard but when want to snuggle you it makes everything better :)
I'm so glad I read this post! It's hard to see the forest from the trees sometime and you get caught up (thanklessly) in the grind of everyday parenting. I'm happy you had some great perspective at the end and just wanted to say keep on trucking and you DO matter!! Thanks!
Oh, I needed this today! Great reminder. Thanks!
Ahh i know how you feel when the house is a mess and everything is chaotic, I'm lucky that when daddy gets home he gives mommy a breather lol.
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