Things Are Getting Better

Remember this post?

Well, it's time for an update.

I've been working on my attitude and perspective on our situation since that post. Things are definitely looking more positive.

Although we did not get approved for much, the Knight and I have decided to go ahead and get a place in our price range anyway. Neither of us want to go back to renting, which is basically just throwing money down a rat hole. We have also looked into some community grants and funds, and first time home buyers government programs that we may qualify for. These programs offer a lower interest rate which may allow us to buy a higher priced house. We are checking out all of our options and seeking the advice and support from family and friends. Wednesday we are going to look at a nice, 3 bedroom garden style condo that is available to first-time home buyers only, and we are also going to look at a 3 bedroom colonial that needs to be fixed up a little.

I think that my frustrations over not being pre-approved for much stems from my impatience and my tendency to let out my "me want now!" inner brat. I want a nice house with enough room for us to grow into with a large backyard for the kids to play. And I realized that when I couldn't have it, and have it now, I felt frustration and despair. My favorite phrase of the week was "We are NEVER going to get a nice house!" No wonder the Knight was so upset and frustrated at me.

The Knight and I talked it over and set up our plan. We will have a nice house someday, just not right now. And I needed to grow up and realize that I couldn't have everything I wanted right now. We will buy a house to live in, fix it up, then sell it for profit and for a down payment on a nicer house. We are still young and we can't expect to start out at the same level of our parents when it took them 20 years to get where they are today.

Besides changing my perspective on our situation, I have been doing other things to try to break myself out of this funk. I've been getting up earlier in the morning to exercise and going to bed earlier at night so I can get enough sleep. I've started to eat healthy again in order to lose weight. My goal is to be at a healthy weight by next September, so that my next pregnancy will be healthy. And we also took a trip to a local "natural" store and got some stuff for me to take for mild depression. Since St. John's Wort can be unsafe for nursing moms, I opted for supplement that contains lots of Omega 3 Fatty Acids and other natural ingredients that have been shown to help "balance moods". It's also supposed to help with energy.

So, how are these things working? Well, in the past three days:
The Knight and I have not had a single fight and in fact we are getting along better than we have for a while;
I have laughed more than I have laughed all month;
I have more energy and have been playing a lot more with my girls;
I have felt less stressed, and my level of frustration has gone down dramatically.

Is this improvement temporary? I hope not. All I know is that, so far, I have avoided the dark cloud of depression.

Kudos to me.

Things Are Getting Better