And While We're At It...

Top Ten Rules for People Who Aren't the Parents...

1) If we are not seeking your advice, don't offer it. We don't want to hear it. We are not interested in it. Shoving unsolicited advice in our faces only makes us resent you and having our children around you.

2) Just because you have more children than us, or you are older than us, or any other circumstance that can be applied in this situation, does NOT make you more experienced or better at parenting than we are. Do not tell us that you are more experienced at parenting because you are NOT. You may have more experience raising you OWN child or children, but the only people that have experience raising our children is us! So don't assume you know more than us and that we need your help in raising them!

3) If we have different parenting styles and beliefs than you do, that's okay. Diversity makes the world fun. But just because we parent differently does not make us wrong. Don't tell us how to raise our children, don't tell us that we are doing things wrong, and don't argue with us about it. Respect our parenting choices and move on. The more you argue with us the more we will resent you and the less you will see our children. Simple as that.

4) We understand that aunts/family friends/grandparents may want to "spoil" the children. But do not tell us that it is your "right" to spoil them. Giving them lots of attention? Go for it. Letting them get away with a LITTLE more than their parents do? I guess that's okay. Talking to them and spending time with them? Great. All these are good ways to "spoil" our children. Buying large amounts of toys for every visit? Not okay. Buying HUGE amounts of toys for holidays? Definitely not Okay. You are not "spoiling" our children by doing this, you are wasting your money. They don't play with all the toys you buy them, and here's a secret...since we have no room for them anyway, half of them get donated or thrown away. So stop wasting your money and time.

5) We understand that when we leave our children in your hands we leave a lot of stuff up to your discretion. But if you know for sure that we do not like our children pigging out on junk food...don't feed them junk food. We are only going to hate you that night as our kids are bouncing off the walls on a sugar high and you won't babysit ever again. This applies to any guidelines that we set with the children. Follow the rules, even if you don't like them.

6) Comparing our children to other children? Not cool. Just don't do it. For example, no parent wants to hear, "Why isn't child potty trained yet? So-and-so down the street is the same age as her and has been potty trained for a while now."

7) If we have more than one child, treat them all the same. No one likes to see all the attention heaped on one of their children while the other is practically ignored. That's just cruel.

8) Seeing our children is a privilege, not a right. Don't complain if you don't get to see them every day/weekend. We have stuff to do too, and while we love having you spend time with our children, we aren't about to schedule our life around when you want to see them. Deal with it.

9) If we are disciplining our child/children in front of you, don't contradict us. Don't tell us we are being too harsh, or not harsh enough, or doing it wrong. We don't want to hear it. On that note, if we are in the same room, don't try to discipline our children for us. That's our job.

10) If you plan on giving our child/children a large present, discuss it with us first. It is a parent's worst nightmare when someone shows up with a puppy for the child/children, or tickets to an all day event when the child is too young to be separated from his or her parents that long.

Follow these rules, and we can all get along nicely :o)

And While We're At It...