The Good News

As some of you may know, the Knight and I have been trying to conceive another child since April.

Month after month was spent trying trying trying and then testing testing testing and having my heart crushed after each negative test.

Finally I decided to start charting using the methods described in Your Fertility Signals. And we tried on the days that my chart indicated were my fertile days.

If you haven't tried charting yet, I HIGHLY recommend you do. It took so much pressure and effort off our shoulders. We were able to spend our energy on the days where it really counted, and the amount of pressure we felt was so much less, it was such a relief. Plus, I found it amazing to get to know my body and how it works and keep track of the changes it goes through.

But I digress.

Last Thursday, even before my period was due, I felt a sense of calm and joy settle over me. I coudn't figure it out. And even though my period wasn't due until Saturday, I decided to take a pregnancy test.

It came out negative.

But the cool thing? The cool thing was that the negative result didn't phase me at all. I think that was the moment when I realized that I knew I was not alone, that I was carrying life. I talked with a few friends via a private forum and they encouraged me to try testing again on Sunday.

Sunday morning came and I felt so at peace and ready to accept any result the test gave me. I knew that if I wasn't pregnant, I would still feel confident and happy, thanks to knowing through charting that I am actually ovulating and that things are working fine. I took the test, waited the two minutes, and picked it up. I saw nothing and thought Oh well, maybe next mo-HOLY CRAP IS THAT A LINE?

Even though I knew deep down that I was pregnant, the past months of having my heart crushed wouldn't allow me to fully accept the positive test.

At this point it was 4 AM, and I ran downstairs and woke up my mom, who had crashed on our couch after a late night of babysitting. She sat up groggily and I waved the stick at her and said IS THIS A LINE? DO YOU SEE A LINE? And she is only half awake and she squints and says I don't see anything and I say WHY AM I EVEN ASKING YOU, YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR GLASSES ON!!

We both run into the kitchen where the light is better and I look and think I see a VERY faint line, but she is still squinting and trying to look when she clearly can't see anything. And now I know at this point she is afraid to tell me that there is no line so she just looks at me sheepishly.

A couple hours later my cousin comes to visit and she ends up looking and says Well it is very faint but I think I see it. And I say I THINK I SEE IT TOO, I NEED SOMEONE TO GIVE ME A DEFINITE YES OR NO, NOT I THINK!!

At this point I am wondering if the line is really there or if I want to be pregnant so badly that I am seeing what I want to see.

So I run downstairs and go back onto the private forum I was on the other day and put up a picture of the test. See, a lot of these ladies on the forum are pee stick professionals, they have tons of experience posting over at fertility friend or Two Week Wait and looking at pictures of tests over there, and in LBK (life before kids) I might have laughed at them but not now, no now I bow down to these fertility goddesses and they look at the pictures and say YUP THAT IS A LINE!!

And I run upstairs and hug the Knight and jump up and down because even though I knew it all along deep down, hearing it from these ladies is like getting a positive blood test from a doctor and NOW IT IS OFFICIAL!!

I take two more tests over the next two days just for the fun of watching the line get darker...and it does.

So that's THE GOOD NEWS. We are so happy and so excited, and a tad bit anxious. I am "four weeks" along and my due date is May 13th, and I know that this time, I will get to hold my wiggling bundle of joy.

The Good News