I AM

I am someone who get frustrated easily, and sometimes will yell at my kids.

I am someone who knows how to use words to hurt people. Badly.

I am someone who does not dust. Ever.

I am someone who swears. A lot.

I am a procrastinator and wait until the last minute to get things done, then panic and complete the job haphazardly.

I can be extremely lazy.

I can also be extremely mean.

When something goes wrong in my life, my first reaction is to panic and blame someone else. My second reaction is to demand someone else fix it. Only after these reactions will I take responsibility and take action myself.

I judge people by what they are buying at the grocery store. Even on the days when I know I'll be hitting up McDonald's on the way home.

And when I'm at the McDonald's, I judge everyone there, too.

Large crowds make me nervous.

I have no relationship with my father. When he dies, I plan on boycotting his funeral.

I am afraid to try new things because I'm afraid of failure.

I am demanding of people's time and effort.

I drink too much coffee.

I am constantly trying to keep up with people who I think are better than me.

I am....a mother, sister, daughter, cousin. I am Not Perfect.

I am Real.

Inspired by this post over at Single Dad Laughing. A must read.

I AM

Walking Downhill

I have a routine now.

I'm getting things done and crossed off my lists. I'm keeping up with the housework, the laundry, the daily mundane duties.

I've started working on my studies again.

We're on schedule with homeschooling, and officially loving it so far.

I'm nursing, changing diapers, bouncing and wearing slings and pouches and wraps and Mai Tei's.

I'm even knitting, because I now make it a point to schedule in some "me" time at least three nights a week. In pen.

This is my life. It's chaotic and busy and far from perfect, but for once in a very long time, it just might be is under control.

And that is good.

Walking Downhill

Higher, Higher!

Hey Mom! she calls to me, as she runs by on the soccer field.

I wonder, when did I become "Mom" instead of "Mommy"?

Later, at the playground, she asks me to push her on the swings.

Higher, Mom! I want to swing higher!

I reluctantly push her higher.

Higher, Mom! I want to go higher than the trees! Higher than the mountains! Higher than an airplane!!!

Oh no. That's much too high for me.

But ready or not, she's growing up.

Four years old today, and I remember how when she was two she had promised me she was going to stay little forever.

Silently, in my head, I beg her to keep swinging just a little lower, to stay just a little closer to me for just a little longer. But she wants to soar...ever higher, ever farther from me.

And because I know she's ready, I close my eyes...and push.

Higher, Higher!

Switch!!

Four months old today.

Two weeks ago exactly, a switch went off...and you stopped crying.

You are now a happy baby. Oh so cute and adorable and laughing!! Yes, you laugh now!

You love to play with The Guppy. But you grab her hair a little too often for her comfort.
I put you down, and you play happily with your toys. A switch, I tell you.

Four months old, and you've already learned a family motto:

In this family, behind every baby boy...
...is an older sister who takes care of you just as lovingly and fiercely as I do.

My darling baby, only four months old and you have already experienced so much love. Do you know how blessed you are?

We are blessed, too.

Switch!!

A Recent Thing

He's a happy baby now, but it hasn't always been this way.

Wordless Wednesday

I'm also over at API Speaks today, talking about the concept of "good" babies.

A Recent Thing

One Perfect Moment

I keep coming back to this photo.

One small moment of the party, captured with a click.

The joy on her face gives me that fuzzy feeling.

Sometimes, things go wrong despite my best efforts. But this moment? It was so right.

One Perfect Moment

Make A Wish

Their birthday party was this weekend.

They are now six and four.

Six and four!!

They make a wish, and take a deep breathe.

I wonder what they wished for.

I hope all their wishes come true.

Make A Wish

Booze and Cakes, and Bento, Too

Sometimes getting picky eaters to eat healthy food can be a real battle. I've always been intrigued by the idea of Bento lunches to convince my picky eater to eat her healthy food, so I was glad to get the chance to take a look at Yum-Yum Bento Box.

Let me tell you, Bento lunches are not lunches. It is art. And while I do not have the discipline or energy to create such beautiful edible art, this book made me wish I did! Easy instructions, colorful pictures, and tips and tricks, it really is the book for those who want to create Bento.

Check out the book page for more information. I loved this book, drooled over the creations, and ached to make my own bento. Definitely worth checking out.

And so, maybe I don't have the time and energy to do anything more than drool at Bento lunches. But one thing that I do have the energy for:

Yup, Booze Cakes. Another great book full of delectable recipes. It offers a handy "Booze Meter" to track how strong the alcohol content is in each delicious desert. And LOTS of recipes.

You can find out more information here.

So basically, after you've spent all day making beautiful and healthy bento art, you can relax at the end of the day and enjoy a perfect nightcap in a spiked confection. Sounds like a good day to me!!

Booze and Cakes, and Bento, Too

Would You?

Would you fall in love with this precious baby if you were looking into these eyes every day?

How could you not?

I have.

You Capture

Would You?

I Had To Refrain Myself From Helping Him

The best part of this moment is what the camera couldn't catch...
like all the grunts and sighs he made while trying to grab the toys.

Because there is a LOT of grunting involved.

Wordless Wednesday

I Had To Refrain Myself From Helping Him

Beautiful Orchid

The Guppy had her first soccer game ever on Saturday.

I wasn't sure how she would do. She's an orchid...a child that is reserved and likes to stay close to mommy.

But this day, I got to watch my little Orchid bloom, as she went fearlessly onto the field and played.

How can you not love the look of determination on her face?

She'll be four in two weeks. I think she is more ready than I am.

Beautiful Orchid

First Grade

She spent weeks bursting with excitement about starting "First Grade".

This morning, she insisted on dressing up so I could take an official First Day of School picture.

I can't get enough of her. Look at those tights!

We're doing The Well Trained Mind and our first day went pretty good. She loves it.

When we ended for the day, she was disappointed and wanted to do more.

I'll never be able to get enough.

First Grade

Tuck, Shush, Off to Sleep

He falls asleep....

...and The Mermaid tucks him in....

...and gives him her favorite toy...

...and my heart melts.

Wordless Wednesday

Tuck, Shush, Off to Sleep

Is Forever Enough?

She's my firstborn. And today, she turns six.

She's going through a phase where she doesn't like her picture taken, so when I see she's absorbed in her painting I sneak a couple shots.You can't tell in the picture, but she's singing while she paints. She always sings when she is concentrating.

Oops. Busted.

I convince her to take just one shot of her holding her painting. It's of her and I hugging.
Later I ask her what song she was singing, and she doesn't remember.

But I do. Lullaby by Dixie Chicks.

I hang the painting up on the fridge, next to the homeschooling schedule and magnet dolls. One day, my fridge will only be covered with photographs and shopping lists. No children's paintings, no drawings done with fat crayons held in little hands.

Six years old. And you still paint pictures of us hugging, give me kisses goodnight, and bring me books to read to you.

And you still sing while you paint.

It won't last forever. I cherish every moment.

'Cause I'm never never giving you up.

Is Forever Enough?