Letter To My Baby

Dear Baby,

I can't tell you how grateful I am that your heart is so strong.

I can't tell you how grateful I am that you are still with us, growing inside me, getting bigger every day.

And now that you know how happy and grateful I am that you are here, maybe, just maybe, you could start giving me a kick or two? Just so I can be reassured that you are still here without the use of a doppler? Strong kicks, nothing big.

At least think on it, okay?

Love,

Mommy

Letter To My Baby

Rediscovery...

My Dearest Mermaid,

Lately, in order to deal with the Guppy's understandable clinginess and demand for constant attention, I have slipped into a frame of mind that I am not proud of. You see, I have forgotten that you are your own little person and I began to think of you only in terms relating to your little sister.

I wince now, hearing the things that I've been saying about you lately. People compliment you on your sweet personality, and I say "Yes, she's so sweet, she always shares and looks after her sister!" They would compliment you on your good behavior and I would say "Yes, it's like she is trying to be a good model for her sister!" They would even talk about how tall you are for your age and I would say, "Yes, and her sister is tall too!" Basically, the Guppy has been so demanding of my time and attention lately that I've started to forget out how you must feel as an individual, as your own person, and not as the Guppy's big sister. I am so sorry.

You are incredibly sweet, and you always have been. You've been sharing with kids since you were able to crawl.

You really are well behaved, and you always have been. I'm so incredibly lucky that when we leave the park/zoo/playdate, I don't have to deal with a tantrum. You don't hit, yell, steal, etc. Sometimes I think you are wise beyond your years.

You are also smart, kind, funny, adventurous, brave, independent, artistic, musical, active, energetic, cuddly, and beautiful.

And since you are your own little person, you have your own little quirks and likes and dislikes. I have been so overjoyed lately to have rediscovered all these quirks and such, now that I remember to view you as your own person.

Like how you love to stand on your head....
Or how you love "learning time"....
Or how you love to tell time...
Or how you love Curious George...and in fact, everything you do, you do "just like Curious George!"
Or how you are so brave to the point where you do things that scare me...
Or how you are so easygoing and flexible and relaxed...
Or how you love window shopping just as much as I do...
The list goes on and on.

I promise to you that I will no longer think of you only in terms relating to the Guppy. I also promise to make a much greater effort to spend time with you alone, just the two of us. You have been so incredibly patient and understanding as the Guppy has occupied my attention; I don't think I would have been as patient as you have been.

I will have your father watch the Guppy and you and I will go out window shopping. On the way home we will stop for ice cream and eat it in the park, and then we will see who can stand on their heads the longest, "Just like Curious George!" And I will listen, really listen, as you talk to me about whatever you want to talk about.

I love you so much, and I always will. You were my first baby and will always be my first baby; and that makes you special.

Love,
Mommy

Rediscovery...

Sweet Sisterhood

My Dearest Mermaid,

I didn't plan on writing this letter, but I think that you deserve written recognition for something that I have observed since the Guppy's birth:

You are a wonderful older sister.

From day one you have been so attentive and patient with your baby sister. You get so concerned when she cries. You love to make her laugh. You are so gentle with her, taking extra care to not be too rough when playing with her. She is the only one that you willingly share your toys with, and you get angry whenever someone is too loud while she is sleeping.

I really think that one reason you are so wonderful towards your sister is because you were there for her birth. Your father and I didn't disappear for three days and come back with a new baby; you were with us all along, through the entire labor and birth. This means you were present during the critical bonding time that occurs shortly after birth. My favorite image of the Guppy's birth is when you, your father, me, and your newborn sister were alone in the bedroom while the wonderful midwives cleaned up. All three of us sat around, looking at the new baby in wonder.

Today your baby sister was napping and when she woke up you heard her crying before I did. You immediately told me that she was crying and ran ahead of me into the bedroom, where you gave her kisses and made silly faces until she laughed. As I watched the both of you, my mind flashed forward a few years; you're both playing outside, you on your training wheels and her on her tricycle, laughing and racing around the yard. Maybe you let her win sometimes, or maybe you don't; either way to help to teach her about friendly competition.

My mind races forward a few more years and you are both eating popcorn and watching a movie, giggling while talking about some boy you both know, enjoying each other's company. Maybe you get upset at her because she always borrows your clothes and always wants to tag along, or maybe you see those things as compliments to your style and friends. Either way, you are paving the way for her through the teen years, using your experiences to help her when it's her time to go down that bumpy road.

Again my mind races forward and I see the both of you at the table on Thanksgiving, home from college break. You are both discussing your classes and teachers, and you are giving her advice on how to cope during Freshmen year. I can see how you are both blossoming into beautiful, smart, and caring women, and my mind flashes forward again.

This time I see the both of you oohing and aahing over a newborn baby. Whose baby it is, I never find out, because your giggles brings me back to the present. You are tickling your baby sister's feet and showing me how you can make her smile. The image of the future fades away, and that's okay. Because it is these moments in the present, these precious, all too fleeting moments, that make life grand.

Thank you for being so wonderful with your sister. Thank you for understanding that babies need a lot of time and attention, and never giving me grief over it. Thank you for understanding that although I may spend most of the day nursing a teething and fussy Guppy and holding her, there will always be our special time at night after she is asleep. And most of all....Thank you for being you.

Love,

Mommy.

Sweet Sisterhood