Should You Let Your Baby CIO?

Should you let your baby cry it out?

I always become alarmed when a mother of a young baby talks about how they are "sleep training" their baby by letting them cry it out.

To me, parenting does not stop at a certain time. I am a mother no matter what time of day or night it is. I am not willing to let my child feel abandoned and alone simply for my convenience.

I think this article sums it up nicely. A number of pediatricians, and sleep experts agree that letting a baby cry it out can lead to a feeling of abandonment. From the article:

Desmond Morris, the author of Babywatching, says that just being alone can make babies insecure and they will cry unless they are 'scooped up in parental arms'. Before about eight months of age, babies have no idea of 'object permanence'.
This means that if they can't see something it doesn't exist. A baby does not know the parent will be back in five, ten or fifteen minutes. All it feels is abandonment.

In his book The Prehistory of Sex, Timothy Taylor
says that typical behaviour of young mammals and birds is to signal distress and wait for a response. If there is no response, the juvenile understands that it has been abandoned, and will die unless it conserves energy. Crying expends energy so crying must be stopped to ensure survival. This leads to 'learned
helplessness' where the baby whose needs are not met detaches from reality, and numbs itself into sleep.

Babies cry for a reason. They don't know anything but that if they have needs then they can let us know that through crying. They are not trying to "manipulate" or "control" the parents.

Put yourself in your baby's place. You've spent nine months in a nice, warm, cozy womb, in constant connection with your mother. You are thrust out into a cold, bright world where your only means of communication is to cry, and then your cries are ignored. How would you feel?

Should You Let Your Baby CIO?