The Third Wheel

We drop the girls off at their grandparent's and use our Christmas gift cards to go on a "date".

The Tadpole tags along, but cute as he is, he makes a fun "third wheel."

And The Knight and I talk. First it was mostly about the past, but it has gradually shifted to talks about the future. Plans we are making that involve us staying together, our family intact.

We've learned to listen to each other. To pause and think before responding in anger. To re-phrase our wording, so our talks have less blame and negativity in them.

Is everything perfect? Far from it. But, it's getting better. We've had arguments, but....they are different from the ones we had before we filed for divorce. Before, we would yell, lash out, try to hurt with words sharpened like barbed spears. Now, when we have an argument, our voices may rise, but we don't yell. There are lots of pauses, lots of thinking, lots of concessions and compromises.

Our date nights are enjoyable, we laugh together. Like before. And when we leave the restaurant, he slips his hand into mine as we walk across the parking lot and I think, This almost feels like it was when we first got married. Almost.

When we first went to counseling and discussed with the counselor what had happened between us, she told us that it was one of the hardest things for a marriage to survive...but if the marriage did survive, it would be stronger than ever. Secretly I mocked her. But now, I am thinking that she was right.

But there's a lot of hope in that statement, too. I hope she was right.

The Third Wheel