Reason 101 Why I Shouldn't Be Left Alone Anymore.

Saturday night, the girls spent the night at their grandparent's and The Knight went out of town to visit with some friends, so I was left alone. My mom invited me to come eat dinner at her house. We ate in front of the TV, joked and laughed. It was fun.

My mom has Verizon Fios, the 1,000 channel option, or something like that. I just know that she has so many channels that after four months of having Fios she is still finding new channels that she didn't know she had. So after we finished eating, she tells me that she found a really cool channel that is horror movies all day, every day.

Did I mention that I DO NOT do horror movies? I used to do horror movies, in fact I used to LOVE horror movies. I even saw Dawn of the Dead while pregnant, and was totally unfazed while watching that woman turn into a zombie and die right before giving birth to a zombie baby. Did I mention I was pregnant at the time?

Then came along the movie The Grudge. I know that most horror film connoisseurs thought that The Grudge was stupid, but let me tell you, for some reason that I haven't figured out yet, that movie SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME. I couldn't sleep for two weeks, and then for the following two weeks I could only sleep if I didn't have any blankets on. I am freaking myself out right now just thinking about it. Since seeing The Grudge I have refused to watch any more horror movies, for fear of not getting any sleep for two weeks again.

But, my mom loves horror movies and was obviously very proud of her discover so I didn't object when she flipped to the movie One Missed Call. For those who never saw the movie, the basic premise is that a group of friends get a missed call from a future date and time and when they listen to the voicemail it is the sound of themselves dying. And then they go on to die at the predicted date and time, blah blah blah. The whole scary effects, creepy ring tone, etc. I was so proud of myself, I got through the movie and only jumped out of my skin and covered my eyes twice.

The movie ended and I said goodbye and went home. That's when I realized that A) I had just watched a scary movie and B) I was going to home to an empty house.

Smart, Shelly. Real smart.

I walk into the house and flip the switch to the living room light...and nothing. The living room lights are out. So I stumble across to the kitchen and hit the switch and...nothing.

Great.

Luckily the hallway light works and right after I turn it on I hear a BANG behind me and I spin around just in time to see the cat run away. And instead of feeling relieved that it was just the cat, I start freaking out because EVERYONE KNOWS that if you investigate a strange noise that ends up just being a cat, YOU DIE!

So what happens next? MY CELL PHONE RINGS!!

Seeing as the movie I saw was entitled One Missed Call, you can imagine how I reacted. I actually screamed out loud. And I'm too afraid to answer it and IT RINGS AGAIN! So I finally pick it up and its my sister and she says Hey is the girls' birthday party next weekend or the weekend after? and I am all BITCH DON'T CALL AND SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???

And she says You watched a scary movie, didn't you. and so I have to hate her for both scaring me and for being so smart. Or maybe I am just that predictable.

I spent the rest of the night with the TV on way too loud and all the lights on. The ones that were working, anyway. And a reminder of why I am so not a horror movie person.

Reason 101 Why I Shouldn't Be Left Alone Anymore.