Remembering Kalei

This past Saturday, the Knight and I held a small ceremony to remember Kalei. My mother, her boyfriend, and a dear friend were also present.

We lit a baby blue candle in a candle holder shaped like a baby shoe and then each held small white candles and went around and each said something nice. We were on the back deck the whole time and the weather was beautiful, the sun was warm and the breeze was causing the leaves on the trees to move and whisper....a perfect atmosphere.

After we blew out the candles we sat around and talked and had a discussion about how our culture has a hard time accepting death, especially when it happens to babies. I think that is a large reason for the silence in our culture surrounding pregnancy and infant loss....people get uncomfortable when talking about it, or even acknowledging that it is a real loss.

Afterwards we drove up to my grandmother's grave and spread a small amount of his ashes there. I felt good about that, knowing that now not only are they together spiritually but physically as well.

My mother was carving a stone for me to put in our garden with his name and date of birth, but it cracked when she was halfway finished. So, she gave me a nice tablet with a quote instead to put in the garden until she can get the stone finished.

All in all, I felt really good about the entire day. The ceremony just felt so peaceful and "right" to me, and I was really happy that we decided to do it.

Remembering Kalei