And So, I Jump

I look ahead of me and sometimes, it is too dark to see.

I feel as though I am always trying to get my life together. Trying to catch up on laundry, keep the house clean, take care of the kids, remember appointments for the doctors, dentist, chiro...

I try to fit in time for me to breathe. I escape in my knitting or I run to the gym and get away for a bit.

But in the end, it's all waiting for me when I get back.

I can't keep up with this forever. Always wanting things to be better, more collected, less chaotic.

I have two choices: I can drive myself crazy trying to keep up with it all....or accept that for now, my life is slightly messy and full of chaos.

The first option means having the stress of keeping it all together. The second involves a messy house but happy and smiling kids.

I make my decision. And facing the darkness....I jump.

I have faith that I will land on solid ground.

And So, I Jump

I Got My Hands Chalky, Too.

Mommy, come look, we made the driveway colorful! Isn't it pretty?

I look at her, and yes, it is beautiful.

You Capture: Play

I Got My Hands Chalky, Too.

Then and Now

Two day old.

Two months old.

I fall in love with him more and more each day.

Wordless Wednesday.

Then and Now

Encore, Please

On Thursday I attended my first birth since coming off my sabbatical.

I was at this couple's first birth, and was really looking forward to being at their second.

Mama totally and completely amazed me with the way she rocked a natural birth. Beautiful baby was born weighing 10lbs, 10 oz.

I came home smelling of newborn sweetness and on a birth high. I kissed the girls hello, cuddled with The Tadpole, and had a glass of wine as I thought about the beautiful family that I would soon be visiting again.

My job? It's not work. It's miracles. Beauty. Love.

It's Life.

I love my job.

Encore, Please

Pinch Me

You're two months old now.

Smiling and laughing, you are definitely a mommy's boy.
You look straight at me, and it's like you are looking straight into my heart and soul.
These days, I find myself needing more me time. I have Grandma or your daddy watch you and your sisters and escape to the gym for an hour. But as soon as I get home, I walk through the door, sweep you up into my arms, and kiss you all over.
Because you? You are my dream come true.

Happy Two Months, little man.

Pinch Me

The Most Amazing Organ

I finished my latest knitting project this week. A uterus.

It was fun to knit. And I know have a great visual aid for my future CBE classes.

Next on my list is a placenta.

More info can be found on my ravelry page.

The Most Amazing Organ

Colorado Personalized Mirror Winner!

Thanks so much to everyone who entered.

The winner, chosen by a random number generator is.....

Rachel Crisman!

Congrats Rachel, and I'll be contacting you shortly.

Colorado Personalized Mirror Winner!

And I'll Probably Do Some Knitting, Too.

Right now, I'm sitting here drinking my morning cup of coffee and wishing it was herbal tea instead.

I'm in an herbal tea type of mood.

The past year has been really hard. So many transitions and changes in life, not knowing how the future was going to pan out, and that was the hardest part of all. The not knowing.

But then The Tadpole arrived and after a bit of a rocky recovery, we settled into being a family of one more. And I learned what it was like to have a son, and once again fell completely and hopelessly in love.

Then The Knight and I learned that although we may not be destined to be husband and wife, we are great co-parents and gasp! yes we even make really great friends.

Then summer arrived and with it friends and warmth and sunshine, fresh fruits and veggies and lots of time outdoors. Just look at these blueberries I ate the other day: so delicious I had to take a picture, to try to capture that moment of summer forever on my computer.

This morning I weighed myself and I am now 10lbs below pre-pregnancy weight. And for the first time in forever, I am finally starting to like who I see in the mirror. Not just because she's a healthier person, but she's also a happier person as well.

The Tadpole had a rough night last night and couldn't sleep. But he made up for it by smiling and laughing all morning. Now he sits besides me in his chair, and I look over and realize he is fast asleep.

How cute is he? Drool and all.

Today our day is going to be spent the same way the past week has. The Knight is on vacation so we'll probably head down to his place and go swimming in his pool. Maybe tonight we'll have another campfire and roast more marshmallows. I don't know, the day is so incredibly open and free.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is. Maybe there is no point. Maybe this whole time I've just been trying to say that Life Is Good.

And I'll Probably Do Some Knitting, Too.

Morning Routine

It's the same every morning.

The Guppy and The Mermaid eagerly wait until I am done with The Tadpole's morning feeding/burping/changing.

They wait until I put him in the bouncy chair so I can make breakfast.

Then they descend upon him, full of love and joy and laughter and just being in the moment of loving that they have a baby brother.

The Guppy reads him a story and The Mermaid gets him to smile.

And as I am slicing up the strawberries, I hear The Mermaid coo "We just love you so much, Tadpole."

And though I thought it impossible, my heart expands just a little more.

Morning Routine

Life Is A Highway...

She loves to drive around the yard, and she is really good at it.

She sees me holding my camera, and stops to give me a thumbs up.

Sweet one, sometimes you drive me crazy. But I just can't get enough of you.

You Capture: Vehicles

Life Is A Highway...

A Tale of Two Princesses

Playing in the (almost) life-sized castle their grandfather built for them.

I smile as I listen to them laugh and play...

and I wonder if they know what beautiful memories they are creating.

Wordless Wednesday

A Tale of Two Princesses

Did I Mention This?

Did I mention that I'm an aunt now?

My lovely SIL had her baby on March 18th, about 8 weeks before The Tadpole was born. And so, I became an Aunt.

Isn't Baby C just gorgeous?

My lovely SIL, holding The Tadpole

Our family get togethers have now turned into one babyfest, and everyone loves it.

I can't wait to watch The Tadpole and Baby C grow up together!

Did I Mention This?

Spoiled

You can't spoil a baby, really....but sometimes I think we come close.

Like when we hear The Tadpole start to wake up, and the girls and I literally race to see who can get there first, to be the first one to greet him from his sleep.

Or when he starts to fuss, and The Mermaid chastises me when I don't pick him up right away.

They crowd around me as I nurse him, touching his feet and hands and hair.

Please Mommy, can I see his eyes? Are they open? They are so beautiful.

They play dress up with him, and take his picture:

Photo by The Mermaid

They are really good at getting him to smile.

Sometimes, at the end of the day, I think to myself If I hear "Mommy I want to hold him" one more time I will scream!

I read the girls a bedtime story, and then sure enough, Mommy can we hold him one more time? Please?

Afterwards, with the girls slumbering peacefully upstairs, I hold my little man and kiss his head.

I wonder if he knows what he has gotten himself into with this family.

And I wonder if he knows just how much he is loved.

Little man, we are so happy that you are here!

Spoiled

5 Weeks Old

He's five weeks old now, and we fall in love with him more and more every day.

Picture by Cynthia Leigh Photography

Wordless Wednesday

5 Weeks Old

That's My Name! With Giveaway!

The Guppy recently learned to read and write her name. Now she is obsessed with all things that have her name on it.

G-U-P-P-Y, That's me!

She is so delighted to have a new way to identify herself. To show that she is an individual, someone special.

I bought her some pencils with her name on it and was also looking for something special to put up in her room. Something with her name.

Something just for her.

Giveaway!

CSN Stores is giving away one Little Colorado Personalized Wall Mirror to one lucky reader. CSN stores is a great website with other 200 stores to shop from, everything from room decor to platform beds to kitchen necessities. Over one million products total!

To enter:

1. Visit CSN Stores and look around, then come back here and comment on what your favorite product is.

For extra entries (please put each extra entry in a separate comment):

1. Subscribe/follow my blog

2. Tweet this giveaway and leave the link in your comment.

3. Follow me on twitter (I'm @Roxanne600)

4. Blog about this giveaway.

I will randomly choose a winner on Tuesday, July 20th. Good luck!!

This giveaway is now closed. Thanks to all for entering!

That's My Name! With Giveaway!

Snapshots of Our Fourth.

Beautiful seacoast on a sunny day.

He cried whenever we took him off the boat.

Family abound.

A happy grandma, cuddling with her grandson.

A beautiful summer sunset over the ocean.

Bright fireworks

bring a perfect ending

to the perfect day.

Snapshots of Our Fourth.

My Sanity Saver.

Saying the Tadpole is an in-arms baby is a gross understatement.

He loves being held. In fact, he gets a very cute look of confusion whenever we put him down.

Thank goodness for my baby carriers.

So far our favorites are the ring sling and the Moby.

You can read more about my thoughts on babywearing here, and see my entire collection of carriers here.

What are your favorite carriers?

My Sanity Saver.

Green.

I try to teach the kids how to live with awareness and tread lightly. To love the Earth.



To be green.

You Capture: Green

Green.

Champions Science Camp Winner!

Late as usual, but the winner is:

Stacie!

Congrats and I will be contacting you shortly.

Thanks to everyone who entered!

Champions Science Camp Winner!